Strong and Strategic
by oOoMilkTeaoOo
Summary: Alice isn't a fighter. At least, that's what she tried to convince others. It was always better to defeat your enemy when their guard was down. She was simply an amazing strategist with brute and super-human strength. Nothing special in her book. Heck, she even thinks keeping a gun in her bra 24/7 is normal. "What do you mean pineapple grenades are bad idea!" she screamed. Law/OC
1. Chapter 1

**I will only say this once, so read carefully. I do not own One Piece, the only thing I own are my own characters, for example, Alice. I will not be saying this every chapter for the sake of space. I admit, this is not my main account nor my first story. Some of you may even know the real me. Be as harsh as you want, but don't be stupid (trust me, you know what stupid is) and no flames. Happy readings! **

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><p>Alice carefully pressed her back onto the tree, her breathing raspy and quiet. Her legs were trembling, definitely from the hours of running. Her ears perked up at the sound of light, heavy and loud footsteps. She sweatdropped. For being predators, they kinda sucked at it. She sucked in a breath. However, seeing as she let herself be cornered like this, she had no right to think that.<p>

"Captain, her scent is lingering around here." a walking bear mumbled, her nose sniffing the area. The bear, which Alice found out weeks ago, was named Bepo. She cringed. She also knew Bepo knew how to throw a punch from hell. She pouted. She too, could throw a mean punch, but the most she could usually do was knock someone out with one hit, if hit in the right places. However, she had to admit, that itself was not too shabby.

Law smirked, "Good job, Bepo. Jean Bart," Law mumbled smoothly. Law's smirk turned sadistic, "Tear this forest down." he ordered calmly, as if ordering a cup of coffee. Alice scowled. How dare this man. Absolutely no respect for nature. Alice shrugged, not saying she herself gave a damn either. Alice was a hypocrite usually, she would always be the first to admit that. She was the worst, scum. She hated people with low self-esteem.

Law smiled as Jean Bart tore down tree by tree with ease, as if they were frail sticks stuck in the ground. Finally, after a _month_ of playing mouse and cat, he had finally tracked the hypocritical girl down. She herself had admitted herself to be a hypocrite. In fact, that was the first thing she told him about herself. He chuckled lightly. She was an interesting girl for sure. He frowned slightly. However, mouse and cat can get boring if overplayed...

Alice scowled, a bead of sweat dripping down her neck. It would only be a matter of time before they find her. She has to act fast. Alice closed her eyes in concentration, debating over her choices. She wasn't physically weak, that was for sure, but she was more of a brute power girl more than anything. She didn't know any cool martial art moves, she didn't have fancy smancy magic known as a devil fruit power, and unless it was a rifle or gun, she doubted she could use weapons.

Alice opened her eyes slowly, however, she was still in the damned forest. The moon was covered tonight, and Alice didn't know whether that was supposed to be a blessing or bad omen. The clouds were moving slowly, occasionally letting a glimpse of light show, but it was always gone before it helped anyone. She smirked. She loved the darkness. For some reason, she could always see perfectly in the darkness. Even in complete darkness.

That is probably the _only _reason Law and his stupid crew haven't caught her yet. She loved her eyes, their interesting sky blue color always intrigued her. She would often catch herself staring at the mirror, simply admiring her eyes. On the bad side however, they were her most striking facial feature. It was damn easy to spot her in a crowd of people, just from her eye color. She rubbed her temples, no, don't go thinking about your eyes...again... She hated superficial people, but being the hypocrite she was, she herself was superficial in a way as well.

Alice couldn't give a damn what her body looked like, what clothes she wore, the last time she showered; which _should've _been a week ago, or if she was downright hideous, which she was not. However, Alice admitted that perhaps she was a _tad_ superficial about her eyes. A loud crash brought her out of her conceited thoughts about how amazing and gorgeous her eyes were.

She frowned, her lips pressed together. They're actually intent on tearing this entire forest apart. A sigh brushed past her lips. They left her with no choice. She walked out from the tree she was hiding from, a determined look on her face. Law's lips curved upwards into a smug smirk. "So the coward finally decides to show herself..." he chuckled.

Alice hissed, "I hate cowards!" she yelled. Alice's eyes hardened, a brief glimpse of the moon making her eyes shine for a few seconds. She reached into her backpack, smirking when she found the object she was looking for. Law frowned, "Just come like a good girl and we won't harm you." he ordered. Alice smirked, "Ah, but you would force me..." she mumbled, her smirk slowly faltering. She shrugged, "I actually dunno what you would do, but I'm assuming it's bad." she added.

Law smiled, "We've been needing a helper, and someone with such brute strength, I'm sure would make a lovely asset." he answered calmly. Alice frowned, "But I don't want to join you. Why do you think I've been running away this whole time?" Alice asked sighingly. Law's smirk didn't falter. A month ago, her words would've aggravated him, thinking she was purposely trying to provoke him. However, now he knows she's just stupid. He was a man with a large vocab, but stupid always seemed to fit her best.

However, Law's smirk did falter slightly when a thought came into mind. She was indeed stupid, even ditzy sometimes, but the girl was surprisingly strategic and smart if the situation turned serious. Sure, he hasn't seen that side too many times, but if he was anyone else, she would've been a girl to fear once someone got on her dark side. Law chuckled, he himself however, was not going to fear some stupid teen girl.

Alice frowned, "You're insulting me, I know it." she answered bluntly. Law had to resist a chuckle. She was also blunt. _Terribly _blunt. She was so lucky she managed to escape those times she was _too_ blunt. Alice sighed as she started pulling her arm out of her backpack. Law smirked. Let's see what she's thinking of this time.

Alice sighed. This was a stupid idea, something she preferred not to do, but they really have left her with no choice. She was a perfectionist when it came to strategizing, and this plan reeks of failure. She hates failure. Another thing to be hypocritical about since she's about to become one. She strolled towards Bepo, who instantly got into a defensive position. Alice's eyes narrowed, "You're a bear, why the hell do you walk like an idiot?" she scowled. She smirked in delight when he instantly started apologizing. So far so good. She frowned. The last two would be harder by far.

Law frowned. What a disappointment. Here he was expecting something good. Not tonight, he supposed. Alice turned to glare at him next. Law's eyes barely widened when she charged at him, her hands behind her back. Law sighed. She had failed his expectations. _Big time_. His hat shadowed his eyes. She's useless if she thinks she can defeat them like this.

Alice smirked when Law frowned, as if in disappointment, which he probably was. She clenched the long object behind her back, causing to crunch lightly. Her eyes flashed when she swung it.

Law's eyes widened. So does she have a plan after all? He swung his nodachi, cutting whatever she was holding in half. He didn't manage to catch a glimpse of what it actually was, since the girl was using her immense strength to move the object at high speeds. He frowned. Let down. Again. He should really just take her and get this over with.

Alice smirked, "Disappointed?" she teased knowingly. Law frowned, and there was a silent yes in his eyes. Alice grinned, "Think again." she mumbled. Barely had those words left her mouth before she whacked Law's face with the object. She smirked in amusement. It was a baguette. Everything was silent for a moment when everyone stood still, some trying to comprehend the situation.

Law's eyes narrowed as he averted his eyes to the girl, "Are you serious, Alice-ya?" he muttered, irritation more than anything evident in his voice. She smirked, "I've always known how much you _loved_ bread so I've been meaning to give this to you." she answered happily. She took a few steps back, a pleased smile on her face.

Alice smirked when she reached into her bra, and pulled a gun out. Oh how she hated shameless people, always strutting their stuff. Alice wasn't shameless, pulling stuff out of her bra was perfectly normal. She tilted her head as she cocked the gun at Law, who was still staring at her boredly.

Law smirked, "Do you plan on shooting me, Alice-ya? It won't work." he chuckled. The whole situation was meaningless and pointless. He shouldn't have wasted his time and caught her when he had the chance. However, curiosity killed the cat, and he couldn't resist a possibly entertaining show.

Alice smiled dangerously, "Maybe." she cooed, her eyes sneakily following the sulking bear who was wandering away from the group with every apology. She aimed and shot, the bullet whizzing past Law's head, who didn't even flinch. "Give up. You lost-" Law sighed, rubbing his temples.

Both our eyes widened when a loud explosion resounded through the forest, a powerful wind whirling. The only difference was his eyes were widened in shock. Mine were widened in satisfaction. I suppose I really am a perfect strategist.


	2. Chapter 2

Alice smirked as the tree exploded, igniting the remains on fire. That instantly stirred Bepo out of his depression, as he quickly jumped away. Still, there were a few embers that had managed to scorch the bear. Alice laughed when the fire spread through the entire forest, burning the rest of the forest down. Alice wasted no time as she started running, skillfully dodging the fallen and ignited trees.

To say Law was pissed was an understatement. Not only had the girl hurt his first mate, burnt and nearly killed Bepo, she _still_ had the nerve to try to escape and think that Law was going to let her. _Not on my watch she's not_. "Jean Bart, catch her and bring her back here alive." Law ordered, as he examined Bepo's injuries. Jean Bart nodded and followed after her. Law scowled as he grabbed some bandages and some salve he kept in his hoodie, and wrapped it around the bear's arms. _That girl is going to pay_.

Alice panted as she ran desperately through the night, the darkness welcoming her. She was quite far from the burning forest now, and the darkness was covering her again. She still heard the loud footsteps behind her scowled. _They're persistent_. Alice looked around, for anything that could aide in her escape. Alice took a chance and looked behind her, just to see how close her predators were. She narrowed her eyes. _From the looks of it, that giant should be two yards away_. Alice turned her head back around, just as she noticed two turns approaching.

Alice arched her neck, and she noticed that the two different paths led to many smaller paths, all in different directions. Alice smirked and thanked the darkness, seeing as she was usually more lucky in the darkness anyway. She ran towards the left turn, right, straight, and right again. Alice hesitantly looked behind her, breathing a sigh of relief when she noticed that he wasn't pursuing her any longer. She smirked. Thankfully he wasn't an idiot and tried to follow her, even he should know to stop when there are so many paths to get lost in.

Alice sighed once more in relief when she finally got out of the dreaded forest, and returned back to town. However, it wasn't safe to stay here. Alice narrowed her eyes, forcing herself to stay alert. Returning back to town would've been an obvious choice, and she knew Law was no idiot. Alice carefully hid behind a house, and quietly looked around. True enough to Alice's suspicions, Law's men were patrolling around.

Alice sighed. _This is going to be harder than I thought_. Alice carefully maneuvered through the twisted alleyways, not letting her guard down. Thankfully, it was dark, and it was obvious that she should stay away from lighted areas. Lighted areas equaled people, or more specifically, Law's men. After finally finding the exit she was looking for, she tiptoed out, and made a run for it. Alice sprinted up the stairs, only occasionally looking behind her to make sure she was not followed.

_Up the hill I go, up the hill I go... _Alice didn't waste a second before she flung open the door and locked it shut after her. She knew someone was in here. Alice wasn't stupid. Alice didn't lock the door to keep others out. Alice locked it so she could keep whoever was in here _in_. Alice smirked dangerously. Even though Alice herself never considered herself particularly frightening, she sometimes even managed to scare herself when she was on her dark side.

"I know you're in here," Alice cooed, kicking opening the bathroom door, making it collapse. "Penguin." Alice added boredly. The man wore a black cap with a yellow rim, with his name 'Penguin' written on it, and even had a red pom pom on the end of it. He wore the usual Heart Pirate attire, beige overalls. He was also using the toilet. Alice and Penguin stared at each other for a few more seconds before Alice picked up the broken door, and forced it back into place.

It was barely audible, but Alice heard a mumbled thank you. Alice grabbed her weaponry backpack from her room before jumping out the window. Alice frowned, "Penguin's shitting in my toilet." she mumbled boredly. Shachi sighed as he adjusted his sunglasses.

"Well, haven't you ever thought of knocking?" Shachi mumbled, crossing his arms. Alice frowned, "This is my house. I shouldn't have to knock." she retorted. Shachi scoffed, "More like a random house you found and decided to make yours." he mumbled.

Alice smirked, "Same thing, no need to be so specific." she teased. It was true however. Alice didn't actually own _own_ this house, but it was abandoned and it was obvious the real owners were gone, so she thought, why not, and made it her own. Plus, she only got to stay here for a day and a half before said pirates found her _again_ somehow.

Shachi sighed, "Captain told us to capture you alive. I don't want to hurt you either, so come over here peacefully." he ordered. Alice smirked dangerously, "I don't think so." she teased, reaching into her weaponry backpack and pulling out a pineapple. There was a brief silence.

"...Why do you always bring out the weirdest items possible?" Shachi sighed at last. Alice frowned, "It's not weird." she protested, throwing it at him. Shachi sighed as he caught it with ease. "Pineapples aren't meant to hurt anyone. Look," he mumbled, pressing a finger onto one of the small spikes. "Barely enough to even draw out blood." he added.

Alice smirked, "Yeah? It wasn't meant to draw blood. It was meant to eradicate your entire being." she chuckled, eyes softening. Shachi frowned for a bit before he processed his words. Without another thought, he threw it behind him, and ran. However, Alice was a perfectionist. The explosion wasn't enough to kill the man, which was what Alice wanted, but it was enough to injure him to a point he wouldn't be able to hold his own against Alice. Shachi groaned, "...Shit. Pineapple grenades...worst idea...ever..." he mumbled, head slumping onto ground.

Alice was offended. She was always offended when people judged her choice of weapons. "What do you mean pineapple grenades are a bad idea?!" she yelled, jumping off the the windowsill, just in time to dodge a syringe. Alice huffed, "Penguin! Tell Shachi that pineapple grenades aren't a bad idea!" Alice yelled hysterically.

Penguin could only sigh. Alice was known to be two things. A hypocrite, and easily offended if you ever insulted her choice of...weapons. However, she wouldn't get depressed like Bepo, no, she would get mad. _Really_ mad. However, this wasn't the worst Penguin had seen. No, with the right provocation, which was usually provided by their Captain, it may even be enough to make Alice reach her dark side. Penguin shivered. He didn't like Alice's dark side one bit. Not at all.

Alice growled as she turned around, carelessly tossing a pineapple grenade in her hand. "You're next." Alice muttered, throwing the pineapple at Penguin. However, Penguin was expecting this ever since he heard the explosion. Penguin ducked, allowing the pineapple to fly over his head, and quickly jumped out the window, the bomb exploding behind him seconds later.

Penguin growled when some of the explosion managed to scorch his back, leaving a stinging and burning sensation. Alice stared expectantly as she nodded slowly. _Good, good, everything's good so far_... She charged towards the river, where there was an old man untying his boat from a pole. With not the least bit guilt, Alice kicked the old man into the water. Alice didn't see the man resurface. Alice groaned at the slight prick of pain in her heart. She shook her head. _No...you already decided...every person for themself_...

Alice expertly rowed the boat, already yards away when Penguin and Shachi somehow managed to get to the shore with their injuries. Alice waved her hand eagerly, and after a few seconds of the two looking around cautiously, Penguin and Shachi waved their hands slightly as well. Alice smiled, while they were her hunters, they could also be considered her friends. Even if Alice would not hesitate to kill them if she _really _needed to.

Alice sighed once she was in the middle of the sea, drifting calmly. However, Alice knew it wasn't exactly safe to let her guard down in the middle of nowhere. Alice frowned, her life had gotten a whole lot more complicated ever since that day... Alice groaned. _Here comes the flashbacks...always when I'm bored...curse you boredom... _

Alice walked into the bar, and she had to resist grimacing when the strong scent of nauseating beer and wine invaded her nose. Alice frowned and put on a stoic face as she sat down near the counter, a gruff looking bartender heading her way. "Wha can I get fer ya, lassie?" the man asked, spitting into a bucket on the ground with dead aim accuracy.

"A non-alcoholic pina colada, please." Alice ordered, her voice calm and cool. The bartender laughed, "Not er a drinker, eh?" the man asked, starting to put together her drink. Alice forced a polite smile, "Not exactly." she answered. The bartender laughed again, "No need ter be so stiff lassie, er no one gonna hurt ya when I'm 'ere." he reassured. Alice nodded, "Of course, mister." she answered, sipping her drink.

Alice smiled, "Delicious." she mumbled as she drank some more. Oh how much Alice wanted to tell the man about her hatred of drinking, of smoking, of anything _disgusting_, but his kindness touched her. She didn't flinch when she heard a table being kicked over. Alice was used to these kind of things. Alice went to bars often, just not for drinking.

"Hey, dare ya to say that again!" threatened a voice. Alice sighed as she finished the last of her pina colada. She placed some coins on the counter, which the bartender accepted with a big grin. Alice smiled gently before leaping off her seat, carefully ducking to dodge the remains of what was once a table.

Alice was just about to push open the wooden doors, but just as her fingers grazed the wood, she winced slightly in pain when a something hard hit her back. Something _very_ hard, which was going to bruise later. All of a sudden, it was silent. Alice should've just left, oh how she'll reprimand herself for her choices later in the future. Instead, Alice turned around, a composed, yet fiery expression on her face.

"Who did that?" she asked calmly, but her voice was hard. _Cold_.

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><p><strong>Erm, so this story is my first attempt at third person writing :3 So please be patient with me and excuse any mistakes you find. <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Alice's eyes darkened as they flickered around the room, looking for the slightest movement. No one moved. Alice frowned when she noticed a man, who was staring straight at her. He was sitting on a barrel, lighting swaying a cup in his hand. He had lightly tan skin, an easygoing smile, a fluffy black and white hat. _What a weird hat_. "Were you the one that threw that at me?" Alice asked calmly. The man's smile tugged into a smirk. Alice didn't like that smirk one bit.

"So what if I did?" the man asked, in a mocking tone. Alice wasted no time as she marched right up to him, hands on her hips. Everyone else seemed to take a few steps backs, not wanting to get involved. Alice glowered at him, "Apologize." Alice scowled, her eyes narrowing. The man's smirk turned the slightest bit crueler, "I do not appreciate being ordered around, Miss." the man answered.

Alice frowned, "That was a suggestion," Alice mumbled, pulling her gun out of her bra and pointing it at the man. She narrowed her eyes, "But I suggest you listen." Alice added smoothly, her face composed and cool. The man's smirk widened, which Alice didn't think could be possible. "Are you really giving me an order?" the man chuckled. Alice growled, "I'm not. Think of it, as oh I don't know, tell me or I'll shoot your freaking head off." Alice muttered. Alice smirked, "Was that explanatory enough for you, Mister?" Alice asked sweetly, her voice laced with mockery.

For the first time, Alice saw the man's smirk falter. "So you're basically ordering me around." the man mumbled smoothly, his eyes narrowing. Alice shrugged, "However you see it, Mister. I personally don't think it's an order. More like threatening, ne?" Alice chirped, tilting her head. Alice could only gasp before she ducked, dodging an advance from the man's nodachi. Alice growled as she pulled the trigger. The man simply shifted his head, dodging the bullet with ease. The man stared coldly at Alice, "You have bad aim." he commented nonchalantly.

Alice grinned when the man's eyes widened as the wall exploded. Alice smiled coyly, "Do I now? I think your crew would say otherwise..." Alice chuckled, enjoying the screams and cries for help. Alice smirked when the man seemed torn between ripping her spleen out or aiding to his crew. "I'll help with your decision..." Alice smirked, spinning her gun expertly in her hand.

"If you let me leave peacefully, I'll spare your crew from any more injuries. Trust me, I'm a perfectionist. If I wanted to, they _can_ die." Alice chuckled. _Nevermind the fact I'm out of exploding bullets and that they're incredibly expensive and rare. Just fall for it and let me go, dumbass. _Alice had all these thoughts in her head, but she didn't dare show it on her face. If she did, well, she would be doomed. Alice waved a lazy hand as she walked towards the wooden door. "Just so you know...I'm a hypocrite. The name's Alice Lockwood. Remember that." Alice yawned, pushing open the doors. Alice suddenly stopped, turning her head and winking, "I hope we never meet again."

"Trafalgar Law, _Miss Alice_," Law muttered, his eyes burning into Alice's back. "Just know that when I kill you, it will be _anything_ but pleasant." Law added menacingly, adding some salve to Shachi's back. Alice smirked, waving her fingers daintily, "Miss Alice, eh? I hate it." Alice replied, pushing open the doors and walking out. Alice was greeted with the reason she decided to seek shelter in the bar, the dry sandstorm. Alice sighed, Alice could easily kill dozens of men, but she can't do much about nature.

Alice frowned as she turned her head, staring at the slowly burning bar. Well, unless she wanted to die, which she did _not_, Alice would have to get a move on. Alice sprinted through the heat and sand, until she reached her house. She frowned, she couldn't stay here. Especially after messing with pirates like a fool. Alice packed up everything she would need, but left the things she could live without. Of course she would pack her weapons, and who cares what others say about them.

Without wasting another second, Alice hoisted the two backpacks onto her back and literally leaped into her rowboat. She paddled expertly, the sandstorm already gone by the time she could see little figures by the shore. Whether that was Law's crew, or the people she stole the rowboat from, she had no idea. She just knew whoever they were, they were mad. Alice could tell from the way they were shaking their fists at her. Alice chuckled in glee. Or it might even be the owners of the house she borrowed without asking.

Or could it be from the people Alice stole beli from earlier in the day? Alice shrugged, whoever it was, had no way of following her now. Alice was getting surrounded by heavy mist, a big reason as to why no one wanted to leave that sandy hell. The mist held uncertainty, and Alice knew people, _normal_ people, didn't like uncertainty. Alice chuckled. Even Alice herself didn't like uncertainty, but she was anything but normal. Yet she wasn't strange. Just a girl trying to survive in a world where it's not strange to see dead bodies on the street.

For what seemed like hours later of paddling, Alice finally made it to next island. Alice wiped some sweat off of her forehead, "Land ho? I suppose?" Alice mumbled to herself. Alice hopped off the boat and walked cautiously around, trying not to draw attention to herself. However, that was _impossible_ with her gorgeously dazzling eyes. Alice sighed dreamily. _Of course I would get so many adoring looks, with these amazing eyes of mine_. "You have beautiful eyes, Miss." greeted a voice, that seemed oddly familiar to Alice, but she was currently in her own little world.

"Of course I do." Alice answered, snapping back to reality to boast more about her eyes. However, she instantly stiffened when she finally realized just who was in front of her. Alice sweatdropped, "Law?" Alice asked uncertainly. Law scowled, "Trafalgar." he corrected. Alice shrugged, "Law." she persisted. Law glared coldly at her, but that didn't seem to faze Alice in the slightest. Alice sighed, "What do you want?"

Law smiled calmly, "Nothing much. Just to hear your pained cries, begging for mercy, all while slowly bleeding to death." Law answered smoothly, all in a bone-chilling polite tone. That however, _did_ faze Alice. Alice chuckled nervously, "Let me guess...you're still mad about what happened..." Alice mumbled. Law smirked, "I believe that most would be if one third of their crew got bombed." he chuckled. Alice gulped. The man before her just chuckled, but it just unnerved her more than anything.

Alice pulled her gun out and aimed it at Law, "I can shoot, y'know?" Alice provoked. Law's smirk widened, "So why don't you?" he mocked. Alice felt a bead of sweat drop down her neck, did this man find out? Alice forced a smirk, "You're not worth my bullets." Alice excused. Law's smirk didn't falter, "Or is it just that you've ran out of bullets?" Law chuckled, taking some steps towards Alice.

Alice inwardly groaned. _Damn, how did he find out?!_ Alice sighed as she reached into her backpack, eyes never leaving Law. She pulled out a bun, it was small and fit nicely on her palm. Law raised an eyebrow, "I don't believe now is the time to be hungry, Miss Alice." Law mumbled. Alice smirked, "One, you're right. Two, stop calling me Miss Alice, it sickens me." Alice mumbled. Law smiled, "Like I said, I don't like being ordered around, Miss Alice-" Law mocked. Alice growled as she threw a bun at the ground, an explosion of smoke enveloping them.

"It was a damn _suggestion_ for the last time and stop calling me that!" Alice yelled hysterically as she ran through the smoke with ease. Thanks to Alice's eyes, she could see with ease through the darkness. _Black smoke, original, am I right_? Alice jumped over the wall, and landed in which what she guessed was an alleyway. In an instant, a man pointed his rifle in Alice's direction, just as she pointed her own gun at his direction.

"Alice." Alice greeted boredly. The man had messy straight silver hair, fair skin and sky blue eyes. However, they weren't nearly as striking or bright as Alice's. _A more diluted sky blue_. The man frowned, "Kai." he greeted back, his rifle still pointed at Alice. Alice wasn't stupid. Alice knew she would be in _deep_ trouble if this Kai dude decided to shoot. Not only was his rifle more dangerous looking than her handheld revolver, she had no more bullets. Which also meant, yes, she was quite doomed.

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><p><strong>What will Alice do?! :O Well, I know what happens, but you guys will see later! :D Remember! This is my experimental account, if you know the real me, <em>shush up<em>. This is for practicing my third person writing, since I wanna try it out first. Everything on this account will be either third person, or that rare second person. Or some odd new writing style I want to try. **


	4. Chapter 4

Alice smiled, "Why don't you shove that rifle somewhere else?" Alice provoked. _I really do hope I'm giving the impression that I have bullets... _Kai frowned, "Same to you, Miss. However, I'm not exactly thrilled of what you've done to my nakama." he mumbled coldly. Alice chuckled, "I wasn't thrilled over having...getting whatever it was thrown at my back either. It hurt, y'know?"

Kai smiled lightly, "It was an accident, and it was the remains of a piano. However, I really do wish that it wasn't an accident." he chuckled, finger sliding towards the trigger. Alice's eyes flickered around, looking for anything she could use to escape. Sure, she had more food bombs and stuff in her bag, but c'mon, they were hard to make. _Why did it have to be food?_ Alice shrugged to her own question. Alice just liked food. "Theft!" yelled a faraway voice. Alice turned around, and noticed a man wearing a black mask holding a bag was running towards them. Alice shrugged as she tripped him.

Alice quickly grabbed the theft's legs and yanked him up, "Play ball!" Alice yelled, whacking Kai in the face with the human bat. Kai groaned when he flew a couple of feet, landing quite painfully on his back. _How the hell did this girl whack me with a grown man so easily? Screw that, how did she even manage to hold him up? _Kai could've sworn he saw stars floating around his head. Alice also threw the theft at Kai's direction, smirking when the theft landed on top of Kai. "Suggestive..." Alice chuckled, taking the bag of loot and sneaking some beli and bullets into her bag before running off.

Alice hesitantly poked her head from the alleyway, inwardly groaning when she noticed that both paths were guarded. Not heavily guarded, perhaps no more than two people for each turn, but still guarded nonetheless. Alice smirked as she reloaded her gun, after taking some spare bullets from the bag of loot the theft had taken. They weren't explosive bullets, so Alice made a mental note to steal- get more of those in her free time. Alice forced her breathing to steady, and Alice could even make out some of their conversation.

"This has got to be one of the most humiliating moments of my life." sighed a man, who had long black hair, kept in a high ponytail like a samurai, with a fair complexion. He was wearing a black kimono, which would surely unnerve some people. He also had his hand on the hilt of his stark black katana. _Of course his eyes were black as well... _The man besides him laughed, "Oh c'mon Kenshin, don't take it to heart. She was just defending herself." a man reassured. This man had chin length blonde hair, and dazzling blue eyes. A fair complexion as well, and he was holding a broadsword with ease. Alice frowned. _They're like opposites...complete opposites too..._

Kenshin growled, "I'll be sure to make her know that _no one_ messes with Heart Pirates." he muttered, hand tightening on his katana, which was strapped to his kimono. The man besides Kenshin just laughed again, which earned him a whack on the head from Kenshin. "Take this more seriously, _Ran_." Kenshin smirked. Ran instantly started whining, "If you're going to call me that, I'll call you Kenny!" Ran protested, pouting like a little child. Alice smirked. _I like them. I think I'll just shoot the two on the other side and fight these two_. Alice shot the other two on the other side, which earned her Kenshin and Ran's full attention. Alice smiled, "Hiya. My name's Alice." Alice greeted.

Ran curtsied, "Greetings, milady- wait- no- you're-" he stuttered, shaking his head vigorously. Alice nodded, "You're Ran," Alice started, pointing at Ran. "Rin!" Rin angrily corrected. However, Alice didn't spare him another glance as she pointed at Kenshin, "Kenshin...you know, I think Kishin suits you better...you know, with all your...dark attire..." Alice mumbled. Alice nodded to herself. _Ran and Kishin_. _Sounds good_. However, the two didn't seem the least happy with Alice.

"Not only do you bomb my nakama, you dare shoot two right in my face?" Kenshin scowled, eyes narrowing. Alice shrugged, "Chill, I got a freaking piano thrown at my back for no reason." Alice scowled, aiming her gun and shooting. Kenshin easily defected the bullet with his katana. Alice sweatdropped, it was stark black as well. _What a surprise? _Kenshin glowered at her, "I won't forgive you for this." he muttered, charging towards Alice, despite Rin's protests.

A bead of sweat dribbled down Alice's forehead as Kenshin came closer and closer. Alice was a master gun wielder, which she liked to call herself, but Kenshin wasn't slow. Alice sighed before pulling another revolver out of her bag and closing one eye, "Nijū jū: Kemuri." she mumbled, shooting both at once. Smoke shot out of her gun, while she repeatedly shot bullets on her other gun. She growled when she saw that even in the black smoke, Kenshin dodged all of her bullets.

Alice growled, "No choice then..." she mumbled, switching out the normal bullets and replacing them with sleep powder filled bullets. "Nijū jū: Kemuri o ne." Alice muttered, shooting again. This time, black smoke appeared, but mixed with sleeping powder. Alice made a run for it, dodging the two she had shot earlier with ease. _Goons obviously...I can tell by the suckish way they hold their guns. _Alice scowled, if the smoking powder affects her as well, then there would've been no point to it.

Alice held out her hand in front of her, so far, she knew four people of the Heart Pirates. One, Law himself, the douche. Two, Kai, the guy with the ugly sky blue eyes and rifle. Three, Kishin/Kenshin, the samurai dressed in all black. Ran/Rin, the blonde gentlemen with the broadsword. Alice sighed. _What an odd crew I meddled with_. Alice ran until she reached back to the city's center, where it was bustling with shops and inns. She looked around briefly, and wasn't surprised when she saw a bunch of Law's men.

Alice smirked when she noticed an inn, and packed up her guns. With stealth, she sneaked into a slightly more rundown inn. Alice sighed and fell to her knees in doom when her eyes connected with Law, who was sitting casually on one of the sofas. "Not bad, if you managed to get here, that means you must have taken down some of my men. Another thing to repay you for." Law mused, placing the newspaper on the counter. Alice growled, "If you didn't throw a piano at me, none of this would have happened." Alice scowled. Law smirked, "You're right. However, all of this wouldn't have happened if you didn't bomb my crew." he mused.

Alice glared at him, "You threw a piano at me." she repeated. "You bombed my men." Law repeated smoothly. Alice sighed, "Can't we just forgive each other like normal humans?" she mumbled. Law smirked, "You also made a fool out of myself." he added. Alice stared at him blankly, "Who told you to let me make a fool out of you." she retorted. Alice noticed Law's smirk had faltered.

"I'm already in a foul mood, _Miss Alice_, I would appreciate it if you didn't try to provoke me." he answered in a quiet, but deadly tone. Alice frowned, "I'm not." she defended. Alice grunted when Law held a firm hand around her throat, threatening to suffocate her any second. Alice hesitantly moved her hand towards her backpack, her eyes glaring defiantly at Law. "Don't." Law ordered, his vice grip tightening around Alice's neck as warning. Alice gasped when Law suddenly brought out a syringe in his other hand.

Law smirked coyly, almost in a reassuring way. "Do not fret, this will just put you to sleep, it's painless. Not eternal sleep, of course, but I'll make you _beg_ for death once you wake up." he threatened calmly, inching the syringe towards Alice's arm. Therefore, Alice released a sigh of relief when the doors were shoved open, revealing a rather flustered looking Kenshin and Rin, who were carrying one groaning man each.

"Captain, these two are gravely injured. They were shot," Kenshin explained, eyeing Alice coldly, "Both in the gut." Kenshin added, still glaring at Alice. Law growled as he reluctantly took the syringe away, just as when it was a few inches away from Alice's arm. Alice sighed in relief. Law growled, "Don't think you're safe just yet. Kenshin, Rin, look after her and make sure she doesn't try to escape while I work." Law ordered. Law glared at Alice, "Give me your bag." he ordered, leaving no room for disagreement. Alice bit her lip as she reluctantly handed him her bag. Alice held in a growl when Law carelessly tossed into the fireplace, leaving it to burn. Law pulled on some medical gloves. Alice frowned, "Hey Ran," Alice mumbled. Rin frowned, "Rin." he corrected, slightly irritably.

"Ran." Alice persisted.

"Rin." he corrected.

"Ran."

"Rin."

"Ran-"

"Arg, fine! Call me what you wish! What is it that you want?!" Rin scowled. Alice smirked, "I attacked you guys with sleep powder, why aren't you asleep?" she asked calmly. Rin barely suppressed a smirk, "You shouldn't underestimate us Heart Pirates. Kenshin can easily fan out a little smoke in no time with his katana." he answered. Alice chuckled, "I see...my bad I suppose..." she mumbled to herself. _You can't fan out smoke indoors. _

"Night." she whispered, pulling out her two guns out of her bra and enveloping the room with black smoke and sleeping powder. She ripped off a strip of her dress and held it to her nose and charged out the door. Alice suppressed a cough at the tingling in her nose. Alice shook her head to ease out the lightheadedness she was feeling and closed the doors shut after her.

Alice groaned when several, nearly a dozen guns were pointed right at her. _I knew I would regret this... _

* * *

><p><strong>If you haven't figured it out yet, italics are thoughts. My. Damn. Left. Foot. Is. Asleep. Why won't it wake up?! Oh, and I just thought of the coolest idea ever...wait for it...milk tea flavoured ice cream! :D<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

Alice cringed as she pressed her back against the door, and it was impossible to see how things were doing inside due to the black smoke. "Who are you?" a man asked, eyeing Alice carefully. Alice raised an eyebrow. _Shouldn't they know that it's me? _Alice inwardly smirked when she figured it out. _The black smoke probably stained my clothes and face. Yay for cheap black smoke. _The man frowned, "I asked, _who_ are you?" he scowled. Alice bit her lip innocently, closing her eyes in an act of sadness. "It's just," Alice mumbled, opening her eyes. "I'm a model. I'm...I'm off to meet the love of my life...but I have work today. So, I was looking for someone that could fill in me. Imagine my surprise when I find a girl with such dazzling eyes like mine. I followed after her in there, and then all the smoke..." Alice explained. _Cliche. Don't grimace_. The man narrowed his eyes, "What happened to the girl with the sky blue eyes?" he asked.

Alice inwardly smirked. _Gotcha_. Alice's eyes widened, "S-She just fell unconscious all of a sudden, after she released the smoke..." Alice explained, forcing a shiver. The man smirked, "Good, good. Did you see anyone else besides the girl?" he asked. Alice bit her lip, "...I did, but I didn't manage to see his face." Alice explained, shrugging. "I didn't really care about the others." she added. The man nodded to the others, "Should we kill her off? She said she didn't see the Captain's face though...There might be Marines around too... Okay..." the man whispered.

All the men lowered their gun, "You're free to go. Just don't speak of this incident to anyone." they ordered. Alice nodded nervously, "O-Of course. I'll be in trouble if I tell anyone anyway, they'll start questioning me. Plus, it'll look bad on me as a model to get involved with things like this." Alice mumbled, bowing her head as she ran away. Once she was far away, Alice allowed a delicious smirk to creep onto her face. "Dummies." she mumbled, pressing her back to a wall.

Alice growled, _Still, that man burned my bag. More like both my bags, since I just kept my weaponry bag in my main bag for practicality's sake. _Alice sighed, "Ah well...I was running low anyway...that man forced me to use most of it...he's damn lucky they're non-flammable. I was out of bullets too, besides the ones in my gun." Alice murmured to herself, walking carefully. Alice raised an eyebrow when she found a small den den mushi on the ground. Alice frowned when she picked it up, eyeing it carefully. _Maybe I can sell it...I didn't happen to carry a lot of money in my bra... _

Alice gasped when she heard some faraway voices coming closer, she looked around hastily before deciding to hide behind a tree. "Damn, I was sure I dropped it somewhere here..." a man mumbled, scratching his head. Alice narrowed his eyes at the man. _Heart Pirate...I think...that's the outfit the goonies and some of the members were wearing... _Alice pursed her lips when yet another man came, patting the other on the back. "Better hurry and find it, or Captain will be mad." he chuckled.

Alice observed the two, one was wearing a hat with the word 'Penguin' labeled on the front, and the other was wearing sunglasses. "C'mon Shachi, let's go look somewhere else." the man offered, pointing towards the opposite direction. Shachi shook his head, "But Penguin, I'm sure I dropped it somewhere here! Law- Captain will kill me if he realized I dropped my den den mushi!" Shachi whined, head lowering in depression. Penguin smiled reassuring, "Let's go ask someone if they seen it." he offered.

Alice frowned as she came out from behind the tree, "Hey, is this yours then?" she asked calmly, holding up the den den mushi. Penguin and Shachi turned their heads towards her, eyes lighting up. "Yes, thank you-! W-Wait...y-you're-!" Shachi exclaimed, pointing a shaking finger at her. Alice's eyes widened, "Ah, right, I bombed you that one time...hi!" Alice greeted cheerfully with a grin.

They sweatdropped at the bright and cheerful ditz. Alice smiled, "You'll be in trouble if you lose this, right?" Alice chirped, clearly enjoying herself. Shachi stiffened, "Erm..." he mumbled, looking towards Penguin for assistance. Penguin sighed, "I prefer not harming girls...but," he mumbled, getting into an offensive position. "We have to follow Captain's orders." he added, narrowing his eyes. Alice smirked as she nodded, "I see...so you guys follow under him from fear..." Alice mumbled.

"No." Penguin scowled, his cap shadowing his eyes. Penguin glared at Alice, "Captain may use fear to keep the crew in order, but we follow him because we want to." Penguin muttered, which Shachi nodded to, getting into an offensive position as well. Alice felt a smirk tugging at her lips, "Eh...such loyal nakama... How pitiful." Alice chucked, getting her gun from her bra, which earned her some blushes from the two. "W-Wha...?" they mumbled. Alice scoffed, "Don't be babies. Actually, babies react better than you two perverts." Alice mocked, aiming her guns.

"Jū: Kokuen." Alice mumbled, shooting black gas out, and carefully sneaking away. It wasn't mixed with sleeping powder for the sake of reserving whatever little powder and smoke she had left, since a certain douche burned her supplies away. Alice ran until she was near the border of the town, where it seemed like it was a desolate wasteland of sand and rocks. "Yee-haw!" yelled a rowdy voice, and the sound of quick footsteps were heard. Alice frowned as she calmly walked in front of the way of the horse rider.

The rider stopped just before stampeding over Alice, "Er, can I help ya lassie?" he asked, adjusting his cowboy hat. Alice pouted and pinched herself, forcing a few tears, "M-My..." Alice whimpered, head lowering. The man instantly got off his horse and hooked an arm around Alice's waist, "What's wrong? Dead boyfriend? I can fix that." the rider laughed, and Alice had to resist a grimace. The rider's eyes widened at the excruciating pain in in his gut, as his eyes slowly trailed down to notice Alice's strong fist. Alice smirked when the rider fell to his knees, and eventually toppled over. "No need, mister." Alice mumbled coldly.

Alice carefully got on top of the horse, trying not to scare it, which would of course throw her off. Alice frowned, "Now...how do you ride a horse..." she mumbled to herself. Alice's eyes widened at the sound of voices, and without a second thought, she slapped the horse's side. "W-Woah-!" she yelled as she hastily grabbed the reins as the horse jumped slightly before taking off. Alice growled as she yanked on the reins, trying her best to control the horse.

Eventually, the horse gave in to Alice's rough and inexperienced handling, and let itself be controlled with ease. Alice would've been pleased, had it not taken ten minutes to calm the horse down, which also ended up messing up her hair. Which she couldn't give a shit about, but she preferred for her hair to be untangled, which now it wasn't. Alice sighed as the horse moved at a steady pace across the plains, the wind blowing through her tangled hair. Alice had to resist the urge to let go of the reins and attempt at fixing her hair, because she knew the horse would be _more_ than willing to throw her off at his chance. Alice sighed before gently slapping the horse's side, urging it to go faster.

Alice closed her eyes as the horse started galloping, a _tad_ faster than what she wanted. Alice shook her head as she forced her eyes open, "Alert...alert.." she murmured to herself. Alice gasped harshly when the horse suddenly stopped, and trailed quietly towards the trees. Alice raised an eyebrow as she curiously looked around, but there was nothing that could've scared the horse. Even if there _was_ something that scared it, it probably would have charged off like a maniac.

Alice pursued her lips. _Then it's probably something I did...wait... _Alice frowned, "...Go?" Alice mumbled hesitantly. Alice gasped as the horse carefully maneuvered back onto the trail and steadily started galloping again. Alice gasped in happiness, "Hey, you're actually pretty smart now, aren't you?" Alice teased, patting the horse appreciatively. The horse just snorted, which Alice didn't understand whether it was flattered or insulted. Alice's eyes widened before she yanked on the reins, pulling the horse to a stop.

Alice sighed, "...Sea..." she mumbled, the horse trotting around the sand. There was a small cabin on top of the small hill to the right of Alice. Alice shrugged before tugging the reins, urging the horse to go upwards. Alice was pleasantly surprised when the horse actually started trotting upwards, however Alice spared it from it's suffering near halfway. Alice patted the horse's head, "Well...I suppose this is good bye. Sorry for um, making your owner pass out." Alice mumbled soothingly to the horse. The horse licked Alice's cheek before trotting back down the hill. Alice held a hand to her cheek as she smiled, "Ew..." she mumbled, wiping her cheek before sprinting up the rest of the hill.

Alice entered the cabin, careful to not to touch anything. "Are you a thief?" asked an old, bored and worn out voice. Alice hastily turned her head to notice an old man with a strong build, pressing his back on the wall as he lit a cigarette. He closed his eyes as he breathed out some smoke, "Well, I won't stop you. What do you need?" he asked, his tone calm and even. Alice frowned, "I guess I am a thief in a way... Anyway, pirates are after me, and uh, the sea is kinda, in my way so-" Alice rambled.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I'm cutting off here :3 You're welcome. Aren't cliffies lovely? If you don't like the plot, I don't blame ya. Like I said, this story is simply an experiment, just to test the waters. Just to practice my third person writing... Still, I try my best to make it fit my standards. Third person writing...I still prefer first person writing, but it's not bad... <strong>


	6. Chapter 6

"So you need a boat." the man confirmed, eyeing Alice calmly. Alice nodded, "Yes, and some bullets too, if you have any." Alice replied. The old man chuckled, "For a thief, you're rather calm." he mused. Alice raised an eyebrow, "For someone being robbed, you're pretty calm too." Alice replied. The old man smiled, "Thieves take what they don't have. I have no use for boats or bullets anymore, so what's the harm of giving them to someone that does?" he asked wisely.

Alice's eyes widened, "That's actually...pretty deep, man." Alice mumbled, looking around. Alice smirked when she found a bowl of fruit, sitting innocently on a counter in the kitchen. "You hungry?" the man asked. Alice shook her head, "Nope, not at all." she answered, picking out a pineapple. "Do you have some RDX, Di 2-ethylhexyl, sebacate, polyisobutylene and motor oil?" Alice asked calmly, tossing the pineapple in her hand.

"I have motor oil, but I can't even pronounce the other things you mentioned." the man answered. Alice sighed as she massaged her temples, "I suppose back to the basics then..." she murmured. "Do you have any ammonium nitrate crystals?" Alice yawned, picking out a second pineapple. The man sighed, "What are you? Some chemist?" he asked sarcastically. Alice chuckled, "Not at all. I can't even remember the periodic table. This is just basic stuff, common sense." Alice mused, picking out a third pineapple.

Alice sighed, "Do you have an cold pack then?" Alice asked, picking a fourth pineapple. The man nodded, "I do." he answered. "Salt?" Alice asked, a smirk tugging at her lips. "Yes." the man answered. Alice sighed happily, "I suppose it really _is_ back to the basics, this reminds me of when I was like, five." Alice mused, accepting the items she requested from the man. Alice smirked as she hauled the six pineapples, cold pack and salt, and some sugar to the counter. "This will be fun." she mumbled, getting started. _I'll need a flame though to use these though._

Nearly half an hour later, what was left was a rather messy kitchen, a grinning Alice, and a tired old man. "Wow, didn't you know you had a super chiller. I got to finish this quickly." Alice chirped, before she sweatdropped. "Do you have, like, a super cute backpack laying around?" she asked. The old man sighed, "I do, but it's something I can't give you. The only thing I can't." the man answered. Alice smiled, "That's alright, I'm just a thief right now, anyway." Alice mused. The man stiffened at her words, and Alice realized her flaw in choice of words.

"I meant, you already helped me more than enough, I can deal without a super cute bag." Alice corrected, smiling when the man visibly calmed down. The man wandered around for a bit, but came back with a sturdy looking knapsack. "Will this do? I used this while I was with the Marines." he offered. Alice smiled, "Retired?" she asked calmly. The man smiled back, "Yes. This old bones can't go around chasing pirates anymore." he chuckled, as Alice stuffed the bags with the pineapples.

Alice bit her lip, "In that case...do you have...special bullets? Like exploding bullets?" Alice asked hesitantly. The man chuckled, "More than I'll ever need." he answered. Alice beamed at his words, "Can you like, give me every last one? Let's just so I messed with the wrong pirates and now I'm in deep shit..." Alice mumbled. "What pirates?" the man asked, digging through a safe. "The Heart Pirates." Alice answered. "Wow, you _are_ in deep shit." the man laughed, pulling out a box. Alice smirked, "So reassuring." she mumbled, as the old man opened the box.

"Vola, explosive bullets, as far as thy could see." the man laughed, gesturing with his arms. Alice smirked as she took a few hand fulls and stuffed them into her knapsack. Alice sighed as her bangs shadowed her eyes, "Now let me guess...you want me to kill you..." Alice murmured, reloading her guns. The man smiled, "If you would be so kind, my house as well." the man answered. Alice frowned, "Why?" she mumbled, heading towards the door.

"To avenge for my crimes as a Marine. Suicide would be the dishonorable thing to do." the man answered, head bowed as in prayer. "So you waited for someone else to come to do the deed..." Alice mumbled. "I apologize." the man replied. Alice sighed, "No worries. I've already sinned too much in life, one more sin won't kill- well..." Alice sighed, heading out the door. She smiled lightly when she noticed that the horse was actually waiting for her, nibbling on some grass. "The boat's in the shed."

Alice nodded, "If that's the case...I'll be right back." Alice mumbled, running towards the shed she had seen earlier. She kicked open the locked door with ease, and noticed the small rowboat. She closed her eyes as she concentrated all her energy into her legs, and she kicked the shed wall with all her might. The piece of wood was kicked off into the far distance. Alice continued to kick until there was a large enough hole in the shed for the boat to get out. She pushed it out the hole, making it roll towards the shore. Alice nodded, before heading back towards the entrance.

"One last thing, mister." Alice mumbled. The man didn't say anything. "Actually, two things. First, what's your name?" Alice asked. "Caleb Mayors." he answered. Alice smiled, "Secondly...what do horses eat?" Alice asked. "Eh, some sugar cubes will do." he answered. Alice nodded, grabbing some sugar cubes from the kitchen, before walking out the door. "Have fun in Heaven." Alice murmured.

"I'll be going to Hell." the man replied solemnly. Alice smirked, "Surely they'll change their minds, after all, I think you're a rather good man. I'm usually never wrong." Alice chuckled, exiting the house. After walking halfway down the hill, Alice led the horse down with her. She frowned, "I only took a few hand fulls of explosive bullets...there's still a ton. If I shoot an explosive bullet..." Alice murmured. _There really will be nothing left_. Alice shook her head, "You said you would," Alice mumbled, holding the gun behind her. Alice closed her eyes as she pulled the trigger, "And you don't go back on your word." Alice opened her eyes solemnly at the ear deafening explosion.

The horse snorted quietly, which of course, Alice had no idea what it meant. Alice offered the horse some sugar cubes, which it accepted happily. Alice ruffled the horse's neck, "This is where we part buddy, it might've been short, but you were a good horse." Alice mumbled, smirking. "For the most part." Alice chuckled, closing her eyes. "Alert." Alice mumbled softly, for the last time. The horse was reluctant, but it left Alice's side to go hide in the trees. Alice smiled when it realized that Alice wasn't going to follow, and with a soft neigh, it trudged deeper into the forest.

"Don't die..." Alice mumbled, before pulling the rowing boat with ease towards the sea, and flipping it correctly onto the water. Alice expertly got in and started paddling, and once she was a few yards away, she held her hands in prayer. "Caleb Mayors was a good man...please forgive him." Alice murmured, before paddling again.

In the deafening silence of night, Alice raised an eyebrow when she suddenly heard...a strange sound. Alice eventually realized it came from the small den den mushi she was keeping in her pocket. She pulled it out, and answered it. "Hiya?" Alice asked calmly. "So, you managed to escape..." Law mumbled. Alice laughed, "I suppose so..." Alice answered, placing the den den mushi on the boat and paddling harder. If Law was able to form a connection, something is obvious, they're close to her. Alice looked around briefly, but she saw no ship. It was night now, and it was dark, but Alice was perfectly capable of seeing everything. There simply was no ship.

_That means that the douche and his crew must be...underwater. Submarine, I suppose? Has to be. Submarine, eh? Interesting choice...I suppose... _"So you manage to escape from me twice now..." Law mused. Alice frowned. _His tone is calm...but his voice is deadly_. "Are you mad?" Alice asked bluntly. There was a silence, and Alice was wondering if they were too far and the connection broke. "...Not mad, _Miss Alice_, just annoyed." Law answered. Alice scowled, "I told you to stop calling me that!" Alice yelled. "I do not appreciate being ordered around, Miss Alice." Law replied.

Alice growled, "For. The. Fucking. Last. Time. It's a damn suggestion!" Alice yelled hysterically. "In that case...I refuse." Law answered. Alice growled, highly tempted to pull out her hair one by one. However, she resisted that temptation, since her hair made her eyes stand out and look even more fabulous, like damn. "It seems you also made some..._interesting _nicknames for some of my crew." Law mumbled. Alice's sour mood disappeared, "Oh yes! Ran is so much cuter, and Kishin means _demon god_, fitting since he wears all black, yeah?" Alice chirped, as if she was talking with a good friend.

"I'll cut to the chase, give me Shachi's den den mushi back." Law ordered. Law was a patient man, and he would've been fine waiting longer, but in all honesty, this girl's ridiculousness was starting to give him a headache. A _dangerous_ and ridiculous girl. Law wanted nothing more than to capture her and try out all these new and fun experiments he's been meaning to try... How long would a person last without anesthetic while suffering from toxins? How long could someone survive with a lethal virus injection? Law's lips curled into a smirk at all the _painful_ possibilities.

"No, it's cute." Alice answered immediately, making kissy faces at the den den mushi, fully knowing that Law's den den mushi would mimic her facial expressions. Alice snickered as her den den mushi scowled, "That was an order." Law muttered. "And I chose to disagree." Alice teased, lying on her back in her boat. "Just so you know, we're right below you." Law added, in an amused tone.

* * *

><p><strong>So...I actually finished this chapter a long time ago...I've just haven't remembered to upload it is all... Anyway, the weekends are tomorrow! :D Whoo! But unfortunately, I have to work on my Science fair stuff at the library with my partner. Sigh, life. <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

Alice frowned, "I have more explosives now after you so _kindly_ burned my supplies." she sarcastically replied, making sure to emphasize her sarcasm. Alice knew she could be a sarcastic jerk and she enjoyed every second of it.

"I have more medical supplies now after you so _kindly_ shot my two crewmates. Through the intestine, nonetheless." Law mocked irritably, a hint of warning evident in his voice. Alice already knew it wouldn't have killed them, they were too pitiful for that, but she had first hand experience that shots through the gut were troublesome.

Alice snickered, "Would you believe me if I told you I did that on purpose?" Alice teased, eyes shining from the moon. _Duh, of course. __I__t'd be hard to heal and it's quite painful. _There was a silence again and Alice was wondering if the connection really did break and that Law was just bluffing about being below her.

"I swear, I'll make your death a living hell." Law muttered, and Alice could nearly feel his glare from below the water. Like a Sea King scowling at it's prey. Alice raised an eyebrow. _However, I wonder who's the predator and who's the prey... _

Alice smirked, "_If_ you can catch me, that is." Alice chuckled, sitting properly and paddling as hard as she could muster. A bead of sweat dribbled down her forehead as her arms started to ache. _This man is serious...have to paddle harder... _

"Going faster won't help." Law mocked, almost seemingly proud of the fact that he had gotten Alice a little nervous. She rolled her eyes. _Dude, it's not that impressive. Just like those lame guys at the bar using pick up lines and expecting me to be all over them._

Alice scowled, "Keep talking and I'll seriously explode you." Alice threatened, her arms screaming in protest for her to slow down. Alice finally gave in when her arms were numb and she could barely feel them anymore. She tried to keep her pants quiet. _I'll be damned if he finds out I'm tired_. Alice raised an eyebrow when she head some beeps from the den den mushi. She held it in her hand and gently shook it, "Are you broken or something?" Alice murmured.

"Shit." Law muttered, and Alice heard some mumbling in the background. Alice was about to question what was going on before a loud roar behind her answered her silent question.

Her heart sank, "Sea King..." she mumbled, completely familiar with the roar. Alice traveled often, and usually by rowboat, so Sea Kings weren't anything new to her. She grabbed her guns and closed an eye, but for some reason, she hesitated. _Why? Why am I hesitating? These are explosive bullets...a few will sink it. It might crash into Law's submarine. ...Damn. _Alice's lips curved upwards. _Double kill, I'm impressed with myself. _Alice chuckled as she shot six bullets, two every second. The sea king released a ear deafening roar at the explosions, but Alice knew it wasn't dead. _It wouldn't be that easy... _Still, the sea king slowly sunk into the ocean.

Alice couldn't help herself as she held the den den mushi in her hand, "Having fun?" Alice chirped, her tone happy and proud of herself. _His reactions are actually pretty amusing now that I think about it... Other than when he's being a douche. Like he is ninety point nine, nine, nine, nine, percent of the time. _

"Fuck you." Law scowled, his tone irritated and angry. Alice smiled as she looked around, noticing that she was near a cove. Alice shrugged as she dragged her small rowboat and dragged it to the shore. With ease, she lifted it over her head, and placed it behind some rocks, where it would be safely hidden from view. _Thank kami, I'm tired as hell. I wouldn't be able to fight them off in this state, I just need a short break. _Alice nodded as she skipped through the cave-like entrance, the darkness and smell of salt and muskiness welcoming her.

Alice bit her lip. _What an odd cove. Usually the entrance formed by rocks wouldn't be that deep, but it's almost like an actual cave here... _The darkness didn't bother Alice, and she would even debate she saw things better in the darkness. "Oi." Law scowled, and Alice nearly forgot she still had the small baby snail with her.

"Aye?" Alice asked, peering around, admiring the uniqueness of this cove. The strange formations and light from hidden crevices created strange shadows that danced around Alice, which freaked her out, but the good kind of freaked out. Like when telling ghost stories, but you know they're not really true. A harmless thrill.

"Where the hell did you go?" Law muttered, his impatience showing. Alice muffled a giggle at the grouchy man's unexpected side. '_Suppose he can't always be a stoic bastard... Now he can be a stoic _and_ impatient bastard!_

"Somewhere." Alice answered boredly, jumping over a small puddle, before she realized her grave mistake. Every sound she made, was defined to the point it echoed through the entire cove-

"Yeah, she's here, her voice is echoing through the entire place." a faraway voice mumbled, confirming Alice's thought.

Alice's heart skipped a beat, "I hate you." Alice mumbled before shutting off the den den mushi. Alice groaned as the small snail started making the weird sound again. _This guy is desperate_.

Alice answered, "Stop it." she whispered, but it was no use, her voice echoed through the entire cove.

"Oi, just give me back my damn den den mushi!" Shachi screamed, his voice wavering through the entire cove. It sounded like a creepy replay of the same thing over and over again, and once again, it creeped Alice out. That's what she told herself anyway.

Alice sweatdropped, "But it's cute!" she defended, ignoring the fact her voice was getting higher and quieter.

"I know it is- no wait, it's not! It's manly!" Shachi retorted. Alice chuckled before throwing it with dead accuracy where she saw a dark figure roaming aimlessly.

"Ow, the hell! I'm not Shachi, I'm Kai!" Kai scowled, and Alice's mind quickly went to work trying to process who this _Kai_ her ears heard of was.

Alice's eyes lit up, "Ah, the one with the rifle and ugly eyes..." Alice chuckled, which earned her a scowl.

"Bitch, your eyes are the same color as mine!" he retorted, and for a moment, everything went silent. _Dramatically_ silent.

Alice's smirk faltered, "Don't you dare compare you shitty eyes to mine, you son of a bitch." Alice replied in a dead serious voice, her eyes hardened and face steeled.

"...You have got to be the dumbest bitch alive." Kai sighed, rubbing his forehead. Alice ignored him and counted the amount of people she could see. _Kai, Shachi, Penguin, Ran, Kishin...no Law...where's Law? Oh, and a walking bear. That's normal. _Alice snickered when she heard a cry of pain.

"Dammit! How the hell do you walk around blindly in this place?!" Kai scowled, followed by an irritated grunt. Alice smirked. _That's because I don't walk around blindly_. True enough, the cove was full of small crevices and cracks, not to mention sharp and rough walls.

Alice stiffened when she heard some new footsteps, "I told you guys to wait. Follow orders. Of course it's useless to go around walking here blindly in the dark. Here's some torches and matches. Light them yourselves." Law ordered, handing the others a torch and some matches. Alice gulped. _Shit. The darkness was my advantage. I have to run_. Alice ran desperately deeper, not that it helped a lot, it was just one straight path.

Alice thanked her lucky stars when the straight path eventually split up into two different paths... _The only question...which way?_ Alice shrugged before deciding on the right path, and hoped for the best. _If they're weren't stupid, they would split up...seven people._ _Let's hope for the best._ Alice stood in front of the two paths and took a vial of perfume out from her bra. _A bear...bears have sensitive noses. Hopefully, he'll get dizzy from the heavy scent and he won't be able to track me down. Even better, he doesn't come. That would leave back to six people...so groups of three. I'm so smart. _Alice dropped the vial, releasing a heavy fruity and floral smell, and charged into the right path.

Alice frowned at the sudden brightness from behind her, but she was already rather deep in the path. Alice sighed. _Seriously...what have I done to deserve this...? _Alice kept running, even if her legs were starting to tire.

Law's fists clenched at the heavy scent of fruit and flowers. Bepo was behind him, stumbling while his eyes were spinning. "Captain...I don't think Bepo can handle-" Shachi mumbled. "We'll split up." Law ordered. "Split yourselves into groups of three." Law added, frowning as Bepo flopped onto the ground.

"S-Sorry Captain..." Bepo mumbled, the poor talking bear's eyes swirling with dizziness, a fog of gloom hovering above his head.

Law sighed, "Change of plans. One group of three, one group of two. I'll be joining the group with two." Law ordered, while the others saluted. Kai, Kenshin and Rin as one group. Shachi, Penguin and Law as the other.

"Kai, Kenshin, Rin, go right. We'll go left." Law ordered, leading his group towards the left direction. "Tell me if you find her." Law added, as he went in deeper with Shachi and Penguin behind him. Kai, Kenshin and Rin nodded, and headed into the right turn.

Alice frowned when she saw tiny specks of light coming from behind her. _So they did split up...hopefully- no, I'm a perfectionist. Of course they split up. _Alice walked deeper and deeper, while the darkness grew...darker with every step.

"_Leave_." moaned a voice. Alice's eyes widened. _Oh no- _Alice crouched down with her hands over her head as she screamed as loud as her voice would let her. Alice was shivering. _No, no, get up...stupid __Phasmophobia__...fear of supernatural. _Alice's mind was working overdrive, trying to force her body to move, but her body wasn't listening. Alice released another desperate scream. She learned the hard way. Screaming was the only way she could possibly calm down. She took in a deep breath before screaming again.

With a sudden relief of reassurance, she got on her feet and started running. _I swear, this fear will be the end of me... _Alice always hated the supernatural, even from a young age. She was a practical person, and ghosts and spirits just didn't sit right with her. However, she never expected to become _afraid_ of them. She wasn't. Alice really wasn't. Her mind was fine with ghosts and spirits, but her body was not. It would always shut down at creepy stuff, and Alice _almost_ hated herself for it._ However...screaming always helps for some reason...I don't understand my body... _

"...Just what was that?" Kai asked. Alice scowled. _Damn, they're closer than I expected. I give maybe a few yards away from me now. _"Oi, I'm talking to you bitch! What was all that screaming for? Hoping to scare us off or something?" he taunted.

Alice scowled, "As if! I just screamed 'cause I felt like it." Alice replied, running faster. Alice's eyes widened before she muttered a swear and ducked, dodging a sharp whoosh of air. Alice scowled. _Haki...from the shape of it...from a sword. That samurai then? Damn, haki users are annoying_. Alice got up and continued to run, dodging a few haki slices here and there.

"She's not half bad..." Kenshin muttered quietly to himself. _That girl can see my haki attacks...how odd. Then again, she's running blindly through the cave perfectly fine...she probably has haki as well... _Kenshin raised his katana and released another strike, which Alice evaded. Kenshin scowled, "If she keeps dodging, this is pointless." he muttered.

Rin smiled reassuringly, "No worries, she'll tire eventually." he replied.

Kai scoffed, "As if. That girl's been running from us ever since we met her. I doubt she's going to tire any time soon, with that ridiculous stamina of hers." he muttered.

Alice frowned. _I appreciate the compliment, but I don't have ridiculous stamina. Average, and perhaps a little more than average, stamina at best. It's just that I manage my energy well and that I have superhuman strength is all. _Alice groaned as her legs were screaming at her to slow down. She glared at her legs. _Do you want to get dissected by some evil doctor? No? Shut up. _Alice's eyes widened when she saw the deadend about a yard away from her. A bead of sweat dribbled down her forehead as she muttered a swear. _I knew I would regret this... _

* * *

><p><strong>Taking a break from one of my main stories from my main account to work on this for a bit... Been a while since I last updated. ...Ha, I even forgot about this since it's not my main account...opps...<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

"No choice then," Alice murmured, stopping right before the deadend. She braced her fist before punching the wall, pain curling in her fist. Alice ignored the pain, since she already knew it would hurt. Alice's mind went blank for a moment as water slowly dripped through the huge crack. Alice sighed in relief as she closed her eyes. _That was close... _Alice's eyes widened when she heard the sound of cracking. Alice's mind really did go blank when the crack slowly started spreading towards the ceiling. _I'm a perfectionist but damn...that wasn't supposed to happen..._

Without another second to waste, Alice charged towards the opposite way. Alice smiled forcibly, "Opps?" she chuckled, once she was close enough to the others, shrugging slightly as she did.

Kai's eyes widened in disbelief, "No...no...you wouldn't..." he forced out, his tone turning disbelieving. "No one can be _that_ stupid, dear kami..." he added quietly. He shot an accusing glare at Alice, "As long as I'm alive, you are _not_ having any goddamn kids." he warned.

Alice sweatdropped, "Sorry?" Alice mumbled, running past them. The others were quick to follow after her after the sound of stone breaking.

"I swear you're the stupidest bitch alive!" Kai screamed, the sound of water roaring catching up on them.

"Just shut up and run unless you want to die! Are any of you devil fruit users?" Alice scowled. _I can swim...but devil fruit users can't... _She inwardly smirked at the thought of them drowning. Her smirk faltered at the slight disturbing feeling in her gut.

"You better thank your luck that there isn't, but Captain's a devil fruit user!" Kai answered. _That sucks. I would've have liked to see him suffer. See _him_ beg for his life for once. _She smirked. Alice didn't get a bad gut feeling from thinking that.

Alice mockingly frowned, "Aw, too bad." she sarcastically replied while she pouted, which earned Alice some swears from Kai. Alice's mind went into overdrive, turning on strategist mode. She raised an eyebrow. Yes, she could have modes. It was perfectly normal. She growled. However, the best Alice could think of was, calculate the water speed and direction, navigate the distance between herself and her boat, climb on and leave. However, she would need the water to 'drown' her for her to calculate this shit.

Kenshin calmly held the den den mushi up to his mouth, "Captain? The girl you wanted to catch...broke open the wall and water is about to drown us. Any ideas of what should we do? Yes, we're running. Yes, at the fastest we can...alright." Kenshin mumbled.

Alice raised an eyebrow, "Eh, you're pretty calm..." Alice mumbled, ignoring her legs screaming at her to slow down.

"Fear hinders your senses." Kenshin answered, not a hint of fear or worry evident on his face. Alice could have scoffed at how philosophical he sounded, but he did say some legit stuff, so she chose not to.

Alice frowned, "I see..." she mumbled.

"..._Leave_..." moaned a murky voice.

Alice sweatdropped as she fell to her knees, to the surprise of the others. "Oi, what are you doing? Are you giving up on life?" Kai yelled sarcastically, a yard behind Alice. Alice took in a deep breath and screamed hysterically.

Alice's mind was panicking. _No good, no good, I won't calm my body in time! _Alice's eyes widened when she felt two arms lift her up, and carried her on their back. Alice raised an eyebrow, "...Kai?" she asked uncertainly.

"Shut up. Captain's orders were to bring you back alive." he scowled. "Believe me when I say I would _love_ to leave you here to drown." he muttered.

Alice rolled her eyes and screamed a few more times, which Kai didn't make a comment or insult on. Alice smirked when her body finally relaxed and she hopped off from Kai's back and started running. "Oi, how much do you weigh? You're heavy." Kai mumbled nonchalantly.

Alice twitched, "A hundred pounds, you douche." Alice scowled, running faster, leaving Kai behind a little bit. "Ran, the water's about three yards away from us. We'll die if we continue running like this." Alice mumbled, risking a look behind her.

_Thankfully the crack I made isn't too big...the water's coming rather slow. Any faster, and we would drown. If it weren't for all the random rocks, it wouldn't go higher than our ankles, but if the water escapes from behind the rocks...we're doomed. The rocks are weird, they form U shapes...the rocks are crumbling...shit... _

"Bye guys, it was awful meeting you." Alice mumbled sarcastically.

Kai growled, "We are _not_ going to die. Especially not you, bitch. Killing you is our Captain's job, not some stupid water." he muttered, just as the sound of rocks breaking were heard.

Alice sweatdropped, "Don't go insulting nature!" Alice scowled. _Stupid, stupid nature! _Alice hissed when she felt the sharp and cold water washing over her, her head going underwater every few seconds.

_Kai was right...I am _not_ going to die like this. _Alice took in a deep breath before submerging again, and continued the pattern until the water shoved her out of the cove. _Alright, at this speed and direction, my boat should naturally float over to me due to the logic of- oh whatever, I'm not going a report for my sensei or anything. _

To Alice's luck- _calculations_, her rowboat was innocently floating on top of the water. She struggled, trying to force her way to her boat. She grabbed the rim and forced herself up, panting as she sat down. _What about the others? _Alice shook her head desperately. _Screw the others. They just want to kill you. _Alice covered her ears when she heard desperate cries for help.

_Screw the others. _"Gah, dammit! I can't see anything!"

_Every person for themselves. _"We'll die if it's like this..." _It's alright. It's alright._

"Damn all of this to hell!" _It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It'll _be_ your fault. _

Alice growled as she paddled desperately towards the entrance, and yanked three hands out of the water with ease. The three were soaked, and were panting for air. "Damn, are we dead yet?" Kai muttered.

Alice suppressed a smile, "Sadly, no." Alice answered, paddling farther away from the cove. She felt odd that she had to _suppress_ a smile. Was she actually _glad_ that they weren't dead? _...Maybe_.

It wasn't hard, since the water was pouring out of the cove, which did most of the paddling work for Alice. Rin spat out some water, "That was horrendous." he sighed, ruffling his hair. Kenshin stayed silent, and just stared at the sea.

Alice frowned, "You guys are strange..." Alice mumbled, which earned her a hard whack on the head from Kai.

"This is _your_ fault! Who told you to go punching walls?!" Kai yelled.

Alice growled as she punched Kai back, "_Excuse_ me?! I could've left you to drown for all I care!" Alice retorted, while Kai held his head and complained about Alice's brute, good for nothing, strength.

"...So why didn't you?" Kenshin asked boredly, calm eyes flickering towards her. Alice's eyes widened. _Why did I...?_

Alice frowned, "I don't know..." Alice answered, sighing in exhaustion. "I don't know..." she repeated. Alice frowned when her den den mushi started ringing, she answered it, "Aye?" she asked calmly.

"Where the _fuck_ are my crew mates?" Law growled. Alice giggled a tad at how flustered he sounded. It was a nice change, from the always practical and observant, plan ready Captain. She laughed. Yes, it _was_ nice.

Alice smirked, "I dunno. Might've drowned, might've died..." Alice answered mischievously, ignoring Kai's gaping mouth, Kenshin's bored sigh and Rin's raised eyebrow.

"I swear I will make your-" Law threatened.

"My death a living hell, yada yada yada." Alice interrupted boredly. Alice's lips curved upwards when she heard the sound of furniture being thrown and some worried shouting in the background.

"Did you have enough fun with your little game yet?" Kai yawned, eyes narrowed at her.

Alice rubbed her eyes, "Nope." Alice answered, making the last syllable pop. Alice sighed, "Damn, I can't even lie down..." she mumbled, yawning. _Who could blame me. I haven't slept in 24 hours. Most people would have gone crazy by now. _

Kai scowled at her, "We'll be out of here if you just fucking tell our Captain that we're not actually dead." he muttered, eye twitching.

Alice chuckled, "But where's the fun in that-?"

Alice barely dodged a punch aimed at her head from a pissed off Kai. "Just. Fucking. Tell. Him." he muttered, eyes gleaming dangerously.

Alice frowned, "Can't you say that more like Ran would?" Alice asked sarcastically. Kai was trembling from sheer anger and the other two had to restrain him from attacking Alice full on, which on the small boat they were on, would lead to all of their's demise.

Rin sighed, "Please Alice, tell our Captain we are safe and breathing, if you would be so kind." he offered, and Alice was almost shocked at how sincere he sounded. Was he always so honest? She didn't really trust gentlemanly people. They seemed too polite, to be hiding something. This too, she found, was a nice change. _But... _

Alice smirked deviously, "I said from _Kai's _mouth." Alice chuckled. Kai sent a heated glare towards Rin, which Rin ignored completely.

Kai growled, "Please Alice, tell our Captain we are safe and breathing," Kai muttered, head lowering. "If you would be so kind." he scowled, fists clenched.

Alice smirked, "Better," Alice mumbled as she rung up Law's number.

"You bitch-" Law muttered.

"Opps, I lied. Your crew mates are actually alive." Alice mocked, holding the den den mushi towards Kenshin.

Kenshin was silent for nearly ten seconds. "...Hai, Captain." he replied at last. Alice smirked as she brought the den den mushi back to her.

"All of them are fine." Alice chuckled, although she was mildly curious on why Law was so quiet, she had her question answered when the water started rippling and bubbling.

Alice sweatdropped when their submarine arose right next to the small rowboat. "Well..." Alice mumbled, shrugging. The hatch opened up, to reveal a flustered looking Shachi.

"Y-You guys are alright!" Shachi grinned.

Alice rolled her eyes, "Well duh, I could've left them to drown." Alice sighed, kicking Kai into the water.

Kai's head popped up from the water a few seconds later, "I will fucking murder you, you stupid bitch!" he threatened.

Alice yawned, "That was for like, punching my head earlier." Alice mumbled.

"To hell with that! You punched me back even harder!" he yelled, but instantly regretted his words a few moments later.

Alice smirked deviously, "_Oh? _So you're admitting I'm a better fighter than you." Alice cooed, smirking.

Kai blushed, "No way, not even in Hell-!" he retorted.

"Kai, shut up." ordered a voice. Alice sweatdropped at the new voice, before quickly grabbing her two guns, placing one on Rin's head and one at the submarine.

"I will _not_ let myself be killed by the likes of you." Alice scowled. Law's expression wasn't angry or irritated, it was actually pretty neutral for once.

"Miss Alice-" Law mumbled.

"I would rather die by being drowned!" Alice yelled.

"Miss Alice-" Law repeated.

"If you want to kill me, I'll kill you first-!" Alice hissed.

"_Alice_." Law scowled, eyes narrowed.

A small smirk tugged at Alice's lips, "Better." Alice replied.

* * *

><p><strong>You should know by now, Alice is a moron. A lovable moron, but a moron nonetheless. She's a strategist, yes, but only when she's not being a moron. Which is like 99.999% of the time- As much as the time Law is being a douche. There you go. Perfect explanation. <strong>


	9. Chapter 9

Everyone except Law and Kenshin sweatdropped. Law sighed irritably, "Are any of you injured?" Law asked tiredly, who seemed to have enough irritation for the day.

"No, Captain." the Heart Pirates chorused. Alice didn't break eye contact with Law and her guns didn't budge an inch. Law stared at Alice expectantly.

Alice raised an eyebrow, "What?" she asked boredly, almost defensively. While she didn't mind it when people stared at her, mind you, in a jealous way, something about Law's stare made her feel disturbed. Throughly disturbed.

"Are you injured?" Law asked calmly. Alice narrowed her eyes, but she couldn't trace out any mockery or sarcasm. _How odd_, she mused in her mind.

"Kai punched me." Alice answered calmly, which earned her a tongue stuck at her from Kai, which Alice tugged on the skin beneath her eye in retaliation. Law simply sighed irritably at the childish mockery among the two.

"How are you feeling?" Law questioned, eyeing her carefully.

"Tired. Sleepy. Bloodthirsty if necessary." Alice answered sarcastically, and she made sure her tone was serious. She learned that while sarcasm is a beautiful, _beautiful_ thing, if used incorrectly, it backfires on you when you're trying to be serious.

Law sighed, "Come inside." he mumbled, starting to turn his back on her to open the hatch.

"No." Alice muttered, eyes narrowing. "I'm not an idiot," Alice scowled. Law turned around to face her again, his face blank. Alice pursued her lips together. _Such dark bags under his eyes ... I guess it comes with getting old... Or being a douche for too long... _

"She is." Kai whispered, which earned him a a foot stomp on his head from Alice, forcing him underwater. After ten seconds of brief torture, Alice raised her leg, letting an enraged Kai resurface and swear at her with every swear under the moon.

"I'll shoot if I have to." Alice threatened, her tone deadly and calm at the same time.

Law narrowed his eyes, "You're bluffing. I personally burned your supplies." he replied. Alice didn't know whether to frown from the bad memory or smirk because Law was wrong.

Instead, Alice shifted her arm, so her gun wasn't pointed at the submarine, but pointed to the open sea to her right. She pulled the trigger, "Kaboom." she mumbled monotonously. It was silent, but at the exact moment the bullet made rippling contact with the water, it exploded a safe distance away from both the boat and submarine. Alice was unfazed, "Any complaints?" she asked calmly.

Law frowned, "Give me back my crewmates." Law ordered, sighing in exhaustion. _This girl is impossible to work with... She's sometimes a moron, sometimes a strategist, sometimes a hypocrite, sometimes... _His eyes widened slightly at where his thoughts were straying before biting his lip to ease her out of his mind.

Alice frowned, "Will you let me leave peacefully?" Alice asked. Alice hadn't slept in ages, and yes, she was fairly certain that _someone_ was going to die this day if his answer was no. That _someone_ not being her.

Law smirked, "For now." he answered, almost mockingly. "I wouldn't want to interrupt Miss Alice's beauty sleep." he chuckled.

Alice tilted her head, "Can I have your word?" Alice asked seriously, her eyes burning into his.

Law's smirk widened, "Would you believe me if I did?" he asked.

Alice nodded. "Someone's word means a lot to me...however, if you ever break your word...I won't hesitate to break your neck." Alice answered calmly. Her eyes hardened. It was true. This was what she lived by. _Once a liar..._ _Always a liar_.

Law chuckled, "You have my word." he replied. Alice nodded as she took the gun from Rin's head.

"Bye, guys." Alice yawned.

Rin frowned, "Captain...are you sure this is alright?" he asked suspiciously, stiffing slightly when Alice raised an eyebrow at him. "Erm, no, I mean..." he mumbled, blushing slightly, only relaxing when Alice laughed in amusement.

Law smirked, "Don't question me, Rin." he replied. Rin and Kenshin nodded as they left the small boat and entered through the hatch. Law smiled, "I won't hesitate to kill you next time, Miss Alice." Law mumbled.

Alice yawned, "Same here. Why are you letting me go though? Afraid I'll bomb your little sub?" Alice mocked.

Law was still smirking, "You could've left my crewmates to drown, but you didn't. Why is that?" Law mocked, eyes piercing into Alice's.

Alice smiled, "I honestly have no idea..." she mumbled, lying down and closing her eyes. She tried to think of another answer, but there really wasn't another one.

Law nodded, "In that case, that's my answer as well. This doesn't mean I'm going to make your death any less painless, Miss Alice. In fact, I think I'll think of some more painful deaths to repay you for all the trouble you've given me." Law mumbled. Law's tone was calm, but his voice was dead serious.

Alice yawned, "Suit yourself. Thanks to your men, I couldn't lie down. I haven't even slept yet." Alice mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

Law smirked, "Until we meet next time, you can sleep all you want." Law mumbled, closing the hatch after him. Alice shouldn't have trusted his word, but for some reason, she did. She fell asleep nearly immediately.

Law sighed as he closed the hatch after him, while Kenshin raised an eyebrow. "It would be the perfect opportunity to capture her right now, Captain." he mumbled.

"I understand, but I like taking my time, Kenshin. I don't mind waiting a little longer, it's not like she's going anywhere." he mumbled, smirking. _It's been a while since I had a challenge. If she wants to play this game a little longer, then so be it. For now, I need to research some more experiments... Illegal experiments are hard to come by...a little inspiration never hurt...I wonder how long this game should last... _

By the time Alice woke up, it was already noon. Alice yawned. _Well, I probably fell asleep around midnight, so this is not strange. _Alice raised an eyebrow when she felt something squishy in her pocket. Alice smirked lightly. It was a small baby den den mushi. _But didn't I give it back? Wait, this one is different...it kinda looks like me too... _Alice shrugged as she dialed in Law's number, which she memorized from the time she had Shachi's. "Who is this?" Law asked, in a hostile tone.

"You forgot this." Alice yawned, eyeing the baby den den mushi.

"I didn't forget it, Miss Alice, it's for you." he replied. Alice raised an eyebrow. _His hostile tone...it's gone...was he expecting someone else? Woah, does he actually hate someone else more than me? I'd be best buds with that person. _

"For me? Aw, I'm flattered." Alice cooed.

"It's so I can know if you're on the same island as I am." Law quickly corrected, almost sounding like he wanted to do anything _other_ than flatter her. Alice giggled. _I wonder why_, she thought sarcastically.

Alice pouted, "What if I just toss this overboard then?" Alice asked sarcastically. _Not that I plan on it...it's cute...especially since it has my eyes... _

"If you do that, I'll surgically attach one to your back." Law threatened, and Alice knew he would do that. Without a second thought. No hesitation. Knowing that she would much rather not have a snail, no matter how damn fine it looked, attached to her back, she decided to let the subject drop.

Alice sighed, "I'm hungry." she complained. Alice _was_ hungry. _A pina colada with Belgium waffles sound quite nice right about now. _

Law was silent for a few seconds, "You called me to tell me that?" he asked sarcastically.

Alice smirked, "No. It was out of boredom." Alice answered, just as her line got cut. Alice pouted as the den den mushi fell back asleep, "You're no fun..."

Alice paddled at a steady pace, feeling much better after sleeping for a full twelve hours. _I doubt that I can risk that much sleep from now on though... _Alice frowned as she passed by a small uninhabited island. _How much longer until I reach the next island? I want food. _Compelled with the motivation of food, Alice tried to paddle harder, but it was no use, she would tire too quickly considering she didn't eat anything for the last twenty four hours. Sighing, Alice paddled back to the uninhabited island. _Maybe I can kill something and burn it. As far as I'm concerned, meat is meat. _

Alice grabbed her knapsack after dragging her rowboat onto shore. She wandered around through the dense trees, careful not to trip on any vines. Alice frowned. _This island is much bigger than it looks like from the outside... _"I _swear_, I've seen that tree at least six times." scowled a voice, which Alice recognized as Kai's.

"Calm down, all the trees here are identical." Rin reassured. Alice had her back to a tree, listening carefully.

"I swear, we've been here for three hours!" Kai scowled.

Exhaling carefully, Alice grabbed her guns from her bra and closed her eyes momentarily. _Should I help them? The exit's straight to my right, but they're going upwards. _Alice sighed, "Oi, wait." Alice mumbled, leaning on the tree. The three of them instantly were on guard as they turned around to face her, weapons in hand. "You guys are going the wrong way." Alice calmly mumbled.

Kai scowled, "How the hell would you know?" he muttered, but to Alice's surprise, the hostility was gone from his voice as well. She rolled her eyes. _Of course they were still _hostile_, just...a different kind of hostile. A...calmer kind of hostile?_

Alice raised an eyebrow, "I just came from it. Like five minutes ago, you douche." Alice scowled.

Rin placed a hand on Kai's shoulder, "Kai, calm down. She's not lying." he whispered. Kai relaxed, but his shoulders were still tense.

"You want something..." Kenshin mumbled, his eyes bored.

Alice nodded, "Duh. I want food. _Edible _food, Kai." Alice answered, eyes narrowing when Kai's lips curved upwards into a smirk.

Kai frowned, "I knew that." he mumbled, his eyes flickering innocently towards a bush full of berries.

Alice sighed, "Where's your Captain?" Alice asked.

"We don't know. We tried talking to him, but it's nearly impossible to navigate through this island. Normally, Bepo could follow our scent, but after a certain _incident_, his nose has gone fuzzy." Kai explained irritably, eyeing Alice sarcastically.

Alice nodded, "Let's see..." Alice mumbled, dialing Law's number. Law picked up.

"What is it, Miss Alice? I'm not in the mood to hear you ramble about your hunger issues-" Law scowled.

"I found your crewmates. They said they would feed me if I helped them find the exit. So, you have no choice but to give me food." Alice chirped. Law was silent for a few moments.

"...How would you know I don't poison you?" Law challenged.

"I just need a stove and some basic ingredients. I'm not a child, I can cook." Alice retorted.

"You trust me enough to board _my_ submarine?" he provoked.

Alice sighed, "Do you really want your crewmates to be lost forever that badly?" Alice mumbled.

Law scowled, "Of course not, but I'm _sure_ they're perfectly capable of navigating themselves without your assistance, Miss Alice." Law muttered.

Alice smirked, "They were lost for three hours and were heading the wrong way." Alice retorted. _You want to play it this way? So be it._ Alice smirked when Law was silent for a few seconds, and she could literally feel Law's seething anger at her.

* * *

><p><strong>I changed the writing style to a new paragraph every time someone new speaks <strong>_**out loud**_**, but generally, the thoughts are from the same person, with exceptions occasionally, but I'm sure you'll be able to tell. So my birthday is on June 7th! Almost! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

Law growled, not even bothering to conceal his irritation, "Do as you wish." Law muttered before he hung up.

Alice sighed, "That guy really hates to lose..." she mumbled, sweatdropping. Alice's lip twitched as she noticed the trio heading downwards, which was _still_ the wrong way. "You guys are still heading the wrong way." Alice speculated boredly, her eyes flickering right, where the exit would be.

"Why should we trust you?" Kai scowled, shoving some vines out of the way, before growling and grabbing a dagger and expertly slicing the vines precisely.

Alice raised an eyebrow. _He can use the rifle _and_ daggers? What is he, an assassin? _"Maybe since I know where the exit is?" Alice sarcastically retorted, huffing childishly.

Kai scowled, "We'll find the exit eventually. If you're so smart, why don't you leave?" Kai muttered, eye twitching as a branch slapped his face, leaving an angry red lash mark on his pale face.

Alice frowned. _He's right...why don't I leave-? Ah right, food. _"I came here looking for food." Alice answered, arms crossed. _I'm just staying for food. ...I am. Aren't I...?_

"Well too bad. I haven't seen a single animal since coming here." Kai muttered, growling as a sharp brach scratched his arm, a thin line of blood appearing.

Alice smirked teasingly, "Really now?" Alice teased, giggling to herself. "You should try looking at yourself." she retorted, smiling as Kai glowered at her. Alice couldn't hold back her laughter as Kai gave a glare to Rin as he let out a badly suppressed chuckle.

Kai growled as he turned his head to glare at Alice, "If it weren't for Captain's orders, I would've strangled you to death by now." he muttered.

Alice frowned, "Didn't Law order you guys to capture me?" she asked curiously, eyebrow raising.

"I _did_. However, I changed it to finding the exit." Law answered from behind her. Alice resisted a shiver as she turned around, guns in hand, just as Law's nodachi was a few inches from her neck. "You're lucky you turned left, if not, you would've gotten your neck cut off..." Law mumbled calmly, retrieving his nodachi from Alice's neck. Law frowned, "There's no exit." he muttered.

Alice scoffed, "Of course there is, it's to the right, where you just came from- oh..." Alice mumbled. Alice bit her lip, "How...?" she mumbled.

"_Leave..._" moaned a ghastly voice.

_Oh no, dear kami- _Alice inwardly groaned as she fell to her knees, her body trembling uncontrollably. She could literally _feel_ the curious stares at her. "Miss Alice...what are you doing?" Law asked.

_Oh no, nothing at all, just my body is afraid of the supernatural. Mind you, I'm actually not. _Alice released five or six ear deafening screams before she calmly got up and crossed her arms. "I thought I heard something...perhaps a hunter or someone...I thought screaming would scare them off..." Alice excused calmly.

Kai growled, "Screw that! You did that too that time at the cove!" Kai yelled.

Alice sweatdropped, "Uh...I was..." Alice mumbled. _Oh nothing, my body's just hellishly afraid of the supernatural, but mind you, I'm not, does that make sense? Of course it fucking doesn't, you dumbass. _

"Miss Alice...could it be possible that..." Law mumbled, his smirk darkening.

Alice tensed up, "No, no, I'm fine." Alice interrupted, waving her hands. Law was still smirking that smug smirk of his that Alice wanted to badly to rip off of his face.

"Whatever you say, Miss Alice." he replied coyly, his smug smirk refusing to leave his face. _I could use this... _

Alice scowled, "I told you- I _suggested_ that you stop calling me that for your own good." she muttered.

Law raised an eyebrow, "Don't raise your hopes." he retorted, strolling past her, much to Alice's silent irritation.

Alice clenched her fists together, "I swear, I am going to murder you brutally one day." Alice muttered under her breath, heading to her right.

Alice pursued her lips, "I'm sure it was this way..." Alice mumbled to herself, kicking some rocks out of the way. Alice's eyes widened when she felt her foot slip. _Shit-! _Alice braced herself as she slid down the rocky cliff, which luckily wasn't too steep to the point it would injure her too badly. Alice pouted, "I am _sure_ this wasn't here before..."

Alice frowned. _This island is obviously not normal...that cove as well...they're all trying to kill me. _Alice repressed a shiver. _That voice too...why does it keep following me? _Alice sighed as she trudged forward, her eyes widening when she came to a waterfall. "_Okay_, I _swear_, I didn't see a waterfall anywhere on the island." she sighed, wandering closer to the running water. Alice frowned as she peered closely at the waterfall, some water splashing onto her face. "This-" Alice mumbled, her eyes widening.

Alice bit her tongue to keep from squealing when _something_ dragged her inside the waterfall, drenching her in the process. Alice coughed, "Shit..." she mumbled, wiping her bangs away from her eyes. Alice glared at the person, who had their face concealed with a tribal mask. They were shirtless and had some tribal paint scribbled over his chest, so Alice knew it was a dude. They were also wearing some shorts, and straw flip flops. Alice hissed, "What the hell's wrong with you?!" Alice swore, her eyes shining angrily.

The man spoke calmly, "You must leave this island." he ordered.

Alice pouted, "Trust me, I want to. However, the exit disappeared and all this," Alice sighed, gesturing to the cave. "Suddenly appeared." Alice added. The man's face was concealed, but Alice could tell he was tense.

"This is not good, the spirit must be angry with you." he muttered.

Alice frowned, "I don't like spirits, but I don't think I upset one." Alice pouted. The man removed his tribal mask, revealing his scruffy brown hair.

"If nature relocated itself, then it must be a nature spirit. Tell me, have you upset nature in _any _way or form lately?" the man asked sternly.

_Breaking the cove's wall, ruining the stability of the water, pulling down some vines... _Alice frowned, "I have not." Alice answered.

The man sighed deeply, "Then, are you related to anyone else that has?" he asked. _Law and his crew don't particularly care about nature...I saw Kai cutting down some vines earlier... _

Alice bit her lip, "I _might_," Alice answered. Alice glared coldly at the man, "However, we are not _related_." she hissed.

The man nodded, "But you've aquatinted yourself with them." he added.

Alice sighed as she massaged her temples, "I have. I regret it though." Alice answered, her eyelids half closed as she imagined all she could've done in life had she not met the Heart Pirates. However, she was mildly annoyed at herself when she concluded her answer was, _much less fun for sure. _Alice shook her head. _You don't want this...don't forget that. A crazy and sadistic doctor wants to kill you. Definitely not good. _

The man scratched his chin, "This is really bad. Spirits are hard, if not impossible, to communicate with. Even if you _do_ manage to communicate with it, it probably won't listen to reason. Angry spirits..." the man sighed, his head lowering.

Alice frowned, "Did a spirit force you here, Mister?" Alice asked calmly.

The man was silent for a few seconds before he raised his head, "I am. However, while it is true I cannot leave, I stay here for my redemption. If I could leave, I would still stay here willingly. For all the crimes I committed." he mumbled.

Alice smiled reassuringly, "Aw c'mon, I'm sure your crimes aren't _that_ bad compared to mine,"Alice chuckled, grabbing her guns from her bra. "You ever killed anyone?" Alice asked smoothly, twirling her guns in her hands.

The man's head lowered, "...I have." he answered quietly. "Too many. Far too many." he added.

Alice smirked, "Do you feel remorseful?" she asked.

"I do. With all my heart." the man answered.

Alice's bangs shadowed her eyes as she smirked, "You see? The difference in our crimes is far too big. At least _you_ feel remorseful." Alice mused.

The man raised his head, "You don't? You don't feel regret?" he asked. His tone wasn't spiteful or sarcastic, but out of true curiosity.

Alice smiled calmly, "I don't. ...From that day, I sworn that I'll only care about myself. You have to be selfish to survive in a selfish world." she answered, her eyes closing slightly.

The man nodded, "I can understand. It's just...I envy you in a way." he mumbled.

Alice smirked, "Don't. There's literally nothing to envy about me." she replied, heading towards the waterfall. "I never dealt with spirits before...but a first for everything, y'know?" Alice chirped, giving the man a bright grin before jumping through the waterfall.

The man smiled, "That girl...really is fascinating." the man mumbled, eyes never leaving the waterfall. Behind him, a little girl, who appeared no more than ten, came out of the shadows. She had forest green hair and blue eyes, and a petite body.

She frowned, "She's a liar though." she mumbled, a slight scowl on her delicate face.

The man chuckled, "Liar...that doesn't seem to suit her...something else..." the man mumbled, his fingers tapping on the wall.

The little girl sighed, "Let me guess. You want me to let her and the others leave this island." she mumbled.

The man smiled, "If you would so kind."

The little girl pouted, "They have to apologize." she scowled, crossing her arms. "They come to my cove and island, so high and mighty! They destroyed anything in their way!" she yelled, her small fists trembling.

The man smiled calmly, "Ko. Humans are like that. Remember? I was like that once as well." the man mumbled.

Ko's frown softened, "...I suppose so. Fine, I'll go talk with them." Ko sighed, heading out the waterfall, which made a clear path for the spirit.

The man sighed, "Good luck." he mumbled.

Alice groaned as she pushed some branches out of the way, "Oi, nature spirit! Come out!" she screamed, her hand cupped over her mouth. Alice growled. _This is why nature sucks. _

"...You must be one of the rudest people I have ever met." mumbled a voice. Alice flickered her eyes towards the source of the new voice, a little girl.

"Are you the nature spirit?" Alice asked boredly.

The girl bit her lip, "I am. Do you have something to say to me?" she asked, almost in a mocking way.

Alice's lips curled into a smirk, her eyes shining challengingly, "I do. Get me off this goddamn island."

* * *

><p><strong>Aye. Sorry I've been gone for so long, but y'know, school and stuff. Anyway, final exams are coming up, and I'm supposed to study for the one tomorrow. The only problem? I haven't studied yet. Gonna go study now, keep my 95 average and get on high honors, wish me luck ;)<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

Alice pivoted, dodging a powerful stream of water aimed at her. Alice smirked brightly at the fuming little girl, "So you are." Alice answered for her, bowing and at the same time dodging the branches that whipped at her from above. Alice smiled coyly, "You know, I never really met a spirit before..." she mumbled.

Ko scowled, "I deal with you _humans_," she spat out like she was talking about pests, "_Every_ day. Always destroying nature, like you own everything, like, like..." she started out fiercely, but her voice eventually quieted into tranquil sadness.

"We don't care?" Alice offered, her eyes softening. Ko looked up to her with slight surprise, but she didn't say anything. Alice sat down, and while the grass almost seemed to hiss at her, she didn't move. "Not all humans are the same. Some are bad, some are good, but you can't go classifying them all into this one big bubble." Alice explained wisely. She closed her eyes. _My sensei taught me that. When I hated humans. When I hated myself for just being a human, the same race as..._that_ person. _

Ko frowned, "I know that," she answered, her voice quivering as she tried to remain calm. "However, I saw you destroy nature. That hurt. I'm Mother Nature's daughter... When nature gets hurt, it hurts me." she explained, although almost whimsically, as if she was explaining this to herself for the first time.

Alice nodded, "I know. I'm sorry for that, that was my fault." she replied, and Ko felt herself relax. Alice raised her head, "But while I'm sorry, I don't feel remorseful." Alice added solemnly, and Ko stiffened, but held herself back from lashing out.

"I said there were two types of humans in this world, good and bad. I fall under the bad classification." Alice explained. Alice got up, her legs bright pink from the grass scratching her angrily.

Ko frowned, but it was out of sympathy rather than anger this time, "Why? You... You're not a bad person?" she stated as a question, looking as if she _wanted_ to believe that Alice was a good person. People that apologize and know their mistakes are _good_.

Alice laughed, humorlessly, "Bad people are _created_, I trust you know?" she explained, walking away from Ko.

Ko frowned sadly, "Of course I know that. All humans are...good, to start with, but it's their choice if they want to be bad," she answered. Her eyes softened as she peered into Alice's back. "Or they're forced to be to the bad person." she added softly, wisdom that seemed past her years evident in Ko's eyes.

Alice's lips quirked upward, "Hey, you're smart." she praised, but her voice had a lifelessness that didn't seem to fit Alice.

Ko sighed quietly, "I may look like this, but I'm a thousand years old. Spirits age much slower than humans." she explained. She frowned, "I'm a nature spirit. I'm associated with truth and wisdom. I...can see into your...soul, if you want to call it that." she explained, almost shyly.

Alice's smile faltered, "I would prefer you not. My mind...is rather _dark_." she explained, before heading deeper into the forest. "I would appreciate if you let me out. I'll be gone from here in an instant, I can assure you. You have my word." she mumbled.

Ko's eyes widened, "Your word..." she mumbled hesitantly before her mouth gaped open, "By any chance, could you be-?!" she screamed.

"It's a common thing to swear by." Alice excused before trailing deeper and deeper into the trees, that were seeming less and less identical.

Ko felt a shiver run across her back as she furiously shook her head, "It's impossible, she couldn't be..." she whispered, but her half hearted words did nothing to calm her down. She sighed, "Well, she said sorry, so..." she drawled out, snapping her fingers to finish off the spell that surrounded the area.

Alice smirked as she felt a rush of magic disappear around her. _This was good... I haven't felt such strong magic in a while... It made me dizzy... _She skipped towards the exit, and was almost sad to see that the waterfall was gone. She gasped when she felt someone tap her shoulder.

Law smirked, "The exit's back. I assume this is your doing?" he asked, and Alice could almost, _almost_, make out some sincere impressment in his voice.

Alice smirked, "Don't underestimate me." she retorted, just as the others came out of the clearing and pointed their weapon at her.

Law's smirk turned cold and his grip on her shoulder turned vice, "You shouldn't underestimate _me_, Miss Alice." he replied.

Alice had been expecting this, and took out the hidden explosive pineapple out of where you don't want to know. She smirked at Law's widened eyes, "Nope, just don't underestimate _me_." she giggled, lighting it in an instant and throwing it a meter from Kai, causing him to scream in agony as he got charred. _I should thank the old man for his lack of ingredients. The explosion only lasts a few seconds, so that spirit can't get mad at me. _

Alice cooed, "Same deal as the first time we met." she teased, grinning brightly. She had expected Law to _really_ pull out her spleens, seeing how close they were, but instead, he smirked.

"Run." he answered and let go of her shoulder to aid to Kai. Alice's eyes widened but she wasn't stupid, so she ran as fast as she could, despite how dizzy she was feeling from hunger. She nearly toppled over as she came into the clearing. She panted before noticing the berry bush Kai had tried to poison her earlier with.

Her eyes narrowed as she expected them, pulling one off once she couldn't recognize it as a berry dangerous to touch. "This...is a cranberry." she mumbled quietly. She pouted, "Nah, no way, Kai would never actually tell me about edible food..." she scowled.

"It's edible. In fact, everything on this island is." Ko answered behind her. Alice shrugged before experimentally trying one, smiling as the taste. She ate a couple handfuls before burping happily. She tilted her head, "Hey, Kai can be nice... Along with Law... And the others..." she mumbled, turning more confused by the second.

Ko giggled, "You're rather dense." she commented. Alice pouted, but didn't retort. After all, Alice knew that fact better than anyone.

Alice got up, "Do you mind if I pack a few things? I don't know when I'll get to a new island by rowboat..." she explained. Ko nodded, and pointed to a tree filled with fruits.

"Those last the longest, a week at least. Full of vitamin C, sure to keep scurvy away." she giggled, eyeing Alice carefully as she spoke. Ko secretly narrowed her eyes. _Could you really be his daughter? You have his eyes for sure... _

Alice nodded gratefully as she walked over and plucked a couple dozen fruits and shoved them into her new, sturdy and huge knapsack. "They quite filling as well, so that's more than enough." Ko commented, but with a hint of warning.

Alice laughed nervously, "Oh right, thanks!" she replied, ruffling Ko's hair, before running towards the edge of the island. "Bye...er, what _is_ your name?" Alice called.

Ko smiled as Alice steadied her rowboat and and placed her knapsack besides her, grabbing the ors. "Ko!" she answered loudly, causing Alice to smirk. "I'm the daughter of Mother Nature, Ko!" she cheered proudly, as Alice nodded in respect before taking off.

"Ko! I said you have _my_ word that _I'll_ get out of here immediately, but I never said anything about the others!" Alice teased, enjoying Ko's gaping mouth.

Alice happily bit into the fruit, her fifth one, before tossing the peels overboard. Surely she was far enough by now that Ko wouldn't get mad? She was answered when a wave suddenly come in, nearly causing her to fall out. She gritted her teeth, "Anger management, Ko." Alice scowled teasingly.

Alice was pleasantly surprised when she saw Law's submarine, just on the other end of the island. Alice _should_ have left, _should_ have pretended she never saw it, but she's Alice Lockwood. And Alice Lockwood... _Eh, never really thought of a cool motto yet, gotta work on it later._ Alice eagerly dragged her boat to shore and sneaked towards the submarine. Looking around hastily, she climbed the ladders and reached for the hatch.

Just as Alice's fingers grazed the cold metal, the hatch suddenly opened, causing Alice to retrieve her fingers with a flinch. "Captain, is that y-you...?" Shachi asked before he slowly processed who it was.

Alice shook her head, "Nope, I'm Alice. Alice Lockwood." Alice answered calmly, to a stunned Shachi. After a few more seconds of awkward silence, Shachi coughed.

"Er...Alice," Shachi hesitantly started, remembering how she hated to be called _Miss_ Alice, "Do you...erm, uh..." he added, not completely sure how to ask...a possible enemy and ally, "Do you- eh, know where my Captain is?" he asked at last.

Alice nodded, "He should be here soon. Thanks to me, he got his ass saved. Pass on my message please, Shachi!" Alice chirped, and leaped down onto the ground. She turned her back on him and waved a hand, "Bye! Don't get messing with nature or you'll get lost again!" she warned, running off leaving a slightly confused Shachi.

"Lost...? Never thought Law could get _lost_." he mumbled to himself, rubbing his chin in thought.

"That's because I _didn't_." Law answered from behind him, causing Shachi to flinch. "Who told you I got _lost_?" Law questioned, narrowing his eyes.

Shachi gulped, "Er...Alice did..." he answered hesitantly. Law's lips quirked upwards into a smirk. Shachi gulped again, "S-She wanted me to pass onto a message t-that thanks to her, y-y-you got your...your...you got saved." he squeaked as Law's smirk turned more menacing by the second.

"So," Law drawled out smoothly, "Not only did she stop by _my_ submarine, she also left a _message_, yet you didn't bother to capture her." he concluded.

Shachi swallowed deeply, "I-I apologize, Captain." Shachi mumbled, head hung low. Shachi hesitantly raised his head, "But Captain... Alice saved- Alice helped us twice now. Is... Is she really our enemy?" he asked, turning to face Law.

Law smirked, "If I order her to be an enemy, then she is an enemy." he explained, causing Shachi to squeak as he saluted and dropped down the hatch. Law chuckled. _But I never ordered that, now did I? It's a disappointment but... I suppose an experiment that doesn't have a certain fatality rate would be more suitable for Miss Alice... _

* * *

><p><strong>If you're wondering how Alice got away so fast, Shachi was rubbing his chin in thought for like a few minutes, and Alice is really good at escaping, ne? XD One more final exam before this is <strong>_**freaking**_** over! **


	12. Chapter 12

Alice yawned as she rubbed her eyes, bright sunlight gently rousing her from her sleep. She stretched lazily as she got up, removing the aches out of her muscles from the busyness of the past two days. Running from killer water, negotiating with a nature spirit... Alice sighed. _I need a break. No matter how fun it was._ Alice raised an eyebrow, "...Fun?" she asked herself quietly.

Her thoughts were interrupted at the sound of loud cheering and squeals. Alice's eyes nearly popped out at the mere _size_ of the new island. It was a main, map worthy one for sure, highly unlike the ones she's been to so far. She squinted her eyes in confusion. _How did I somehow get to such a... Could Ko have navigated for me...? _Alice snickered at the idea of the little nature spirit controlling the waters as a weather navigator.

Alice shrugged and paddled towards the dock, and tied the rope around a nearby pole. Alice hopped onto the wooden and creaky dock with ease. The worn old wood creaked under her weight. Alice huffed. _I ain't _that_ heavy, stupid wood. _"That'll be 500 beli, beautiful." a snooty voice chuckled from Alice's left. She turned her head, only to meet face to face with a middle aged man, "Or a kiss, what do you say?" the man cooed, puckering up his lips.

Alice's face remained perfectly still during the entire process of which she punched the man in the face until she felt his bones break, side kicked him into the water, and where she was left with now, the man sinking slowly into the dark abyss of the sea. "Isn't that an overkill, Miss?" a childlike voice called from her side. Alice fought off the urge to cringe at how she was referred to.

She turned around, smiling lopsidedly, "Nope." she answered, smiling at the child. He looked no older than ten. Alice smirked stiffly. _Do all ten year olds react this calmly when murder is committed...? _Alice shrugged. Alice herself was fifteen, almost sixteen. "Hey kid, don't tell anyone, kay?" Alice yawned.

The kid shrugged, "No one would even care if I did." he replied. His eyes narrowed slightly, "Most people here don't welcome pirates, anyway." he muttered, eyes raising to meet Alice's. "You're a pirate, aren't you?" he analyzed.

Alice laughed as she waved a hand, "Pfft, no." she answered. Alice scoffed. _Me, a pirate? What part of me looks like a pirate? _Alice walked over to the boy and ruffled the boy's hair, to his annoyance, "Listen kid, I'm not a pirate, but rather, pirates are trying to kill me. Not every murderer is as nice as me, so next time, use some common sense and run?" Alice reprimanded sarcastically, as she skipped towards the main square.

"You have a pirate's air around you," the boy observed, causing Alice to hesitate in her step. "You would make a good pirate." he added. Alice turned her head to scowl at him, but to her shock, he was gone.

Alice raised an eyebrow, "O-kay? That's normal, do all ten year olds disappear into thin air?" she wondered to herself. Alice pouted childishly, "Hey, I couldn't do that when I was ten, psh, stupid boy." she muttered quietly as she walked along the dock.

"Puyu, puyu, puyu..." repeated a voice, in Alice's bra. Alice eye's widened in acknowledgment before she pulled her den den mushi out.

"Aye?" she asked, looking around to make sure they weren't close enough to ambush her. She sneaked her gun into her hand just in case, and reloaded it was explosive bullets.

"You're here already? Wait, this island is _miles_ away from that weird one, how did you even get here?" he asked with genuine curiosity. Alice pouted. Alice would sometimes wish he would stay being hostile to her. It made her feel less...

_Less like I'm his friend_. _Less like I'm a pirate. Less like I'm his nakama. _Alice shook her head. _That creepy kid's words are just messing with me._ "Dunno, I think the nature spirit helped me." Alice answered as causally as she could muster. Law was silent for a moment before he chuckled.

"I knew you were strange, but making friends with a nature spirit is..." he drawled out teasingly, and Alice scowled as she could _literally_ see him smirking at her. No really, Law was quite literally in front of Alice, smirking.

Alice pouted, "Aye." she greeted childishly, throwing her den den mushi back into her bra. Law only smirked stiffly at the display and otherwise didn't say anything. Behind him, were Kenshin, Rin, Kai, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin.

Alice smirked, "Did you guys get fined for docking?" she asked. Kai scowled as he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"I was tempted to kill the old geezer, and no," he muttered before smirking. "After I was done with him, he didn't bother us anymore." he added smugly.

Alice smiled sweetly as she held her hands together, "After I was done with him, he _was_ dead." she cooed, and despite the smile on her face, the seriousness in her voice caused everyone except Law and Kenshin to shiver.

Kai coughed, "Crazy bitch." he muttered in between his coughs sarcastically.

Alice coughed as well, "Dumbass bastard." she muttered in between her coughs mockingly. Alice and Kai were glaring at each other with so much tension that it could have been cut by a knife. Law could only sigh at their 'childish banter' before he clapped his hands.

"Kai, Miss Alice, please remember you _are_ free to murder each other if you please." he reminded. "We're enemies after all, correct?" he teased, and to Alice's horror, in a good natured tone.

"Fine with me, this hoe is going down!" Kai growled, grabbing his rifle. Alice's eyes twitched as she pulled out her other gun, and reloaded it with dead speed.

"Oh it's on you piece of shit!" she screamed, pulling the trigger. Alice hissed when Kai dodged, leaving an explosion of where he stood seconds ago. Alice charged at Kai, just as Kai aimed his rifle at her. Alice's eyes flashed before she jammed her gun into his rifle's muzzle and pointed her other at his face.

Kai smirked, "Oh no you don't!" he mocked, driven by adrenaline, and pulled the trigger. Alice barely had enough time to register a swear before natural reflex caused her to pull the trigger as well. Of course, at the closed distance, the explosion threw the both of them apart. Alice and Kai groaned as their backs slammed into the ground.

Law chuckled, despite the fact that his own crewmate was injured. Law smirked. _They're both idiots... _He raised an eyebrow when Bepo tugged at his shirt.

"Captain, are we going to capture her this time?" Bepo asked curiously, and if Law could trust his judgment, he could trace out a flicker of worry in Bepo's voice. Law chuckled again. _Not worry for his own crew, but worry for Miss Alice. _Law nodded.

"I am, but if she wants to mess around, I'll let her have her fun. Consider it a small gift for helping some idiots out," he mused before his eyes darkened. "But _nothing_ can excuse the injuries she's done upon _me_. It doesn't matter to me how close you or the others get to her, in the end," Law smirked, a pleasant image of Alice bleeding while tears ran down her cheeks came into his mind, "She _will_ die by _my_ hands." he added sadistically.

Bepo nodded obediently, but there was still a cloud of gloom around him. Bepo stared at the raven headed girl who was now in a strangle war with Kai, both swearing like there was no tomorrow. He allowed a soft smile on his face. _If Captain wants to kill her, then I'll listen, but... Alice-san seems like a good person._

"You bitch ass skank ass hoe!" Kai screamed, punching her in the gut, causing Alice to spit blood out. Alice grinned as blood dribbled down her lips.

"You son of a bitch mother fucker!" she swore back, headbutting Kai in the temple, causing Kai to see spots in his vision and had to cling onto his dignity to keep from fainting. Rin, who apparently had enough of the ten minute brawl, clapped his hands.

"Enough! What are you, children?!" he scowled, pointing a finger at them both. Alice and Kai both growled at him, both seemingly not liking that their age was being used against them.

"I'm goddamn eighteen, I'm an adult!" Kai screamed, shoving Alice away, which of course, earned him a hard kick to the back.

Alice's eyes widened slightly when she processed his words, "You?" she asked disbelievingly, pointing at Kai. "You're _eighteen_." she repeated. Kai scowled at her.

"Sorry that I'm so young, old hag." he scowled. For once, Alice didn't attack him for the insult. She just stared at him blankly.

_This bastard... _This_ bastard... Is eighteen...?! That's like, three years older than me! _Alice shook her head defensively, "No way, you're too much of a brat to be eighteen." she shivered, feeling a little awkward now about her own age. _Compared to him, I'm so mature... _

Rin brightened up, "Finally, someone agrees with me!" he cheered, grinning brightly. "Even if I may add, I am simply two years more." he added, returning back to his gentlemen persona.

Alice felt a bead of sweat drip down her face. _Is _everyone_ here older than me?! I thought at least _one_ would be my age, considering how stupid they are... _Alice pointed at Kenshin, who was silent for a moment before he answered.

"Twenty." he answered simply. Alice sweatdropped. _Well, _him_ I can believe to be twenty, but I can't say that for the others... _

Shachi pouted, "You're probably thinking we're idiots for our age," he mumbled, to which Alice nodded eagerly. Shachi chuckled, "And we are, but we're fun!" he cheered. "Penguin and I are twenty as well, and Captain's the oldest, he's twenty, but older than us by a few months." he explained, pointing at Captain.

Law smirked, "You don't need to go explaining everything Shachi, she _is_ going to die soon after all." he mused, but it still caused some shivers. Alice sighed.

"Yes I am, but not by _your_ hands." she retorted, crossing her arms over her chest crossly. "I will only succumb to the hands of Death himself!" she scowled.

Law smirked, "In that case, I just have to become _Death_ itself, won't I?" he chuckled.

Alice quirked a smile, "The Surgeon of Death? How cliche." she mused while raising an eyebrow. Law smirked back.

"I can deal with cliche as long as your last breath is mine." he replied calmly. Alice nodded curtly.

"Oh yes, of course I'll just obediently let you do that." she retorted sarcastically, getting up and brushing herself off, cringing slightly at the burn on her arm from the explosion she caused earlier. It wasn't too serious, since she let go of her gun as fast she could after she pulled the trigger, but it would still require medical attention.

Alice grabbed her fallen gun and knapsack before heading towards the main square, where she was pretty sure she could find a pharmacist. "Where are you going?" Law asked lazily, but his eyes were narrowed and watched her every move. As a predator would do with it's escaping prey.

Alice scoffed as she raised her arm, showing him her burn. "Pharmacist. You, as a doctor should know that." she muttered.

"I can help you with that." Law offered, but Alice simply scoffed. _A.K.A., come here so I can kill you with poison_. Alice shook her head and chose to ignore him as she continued on her way.

The square was loud, as Alice expected. Children freely ran around, cheering and screaming. Adults and elders sat or stood, watching happily. Alice sighed as she shook her head. _Other people's happiness makes me dizzy._ Alice trudged into the nearest pharmacist she could find and grabbed the nearest cream she saw.

"Good for Rashes." it read. Alice raised an eyebrow.

"Does a burn count as a rash? They're both stinging and red..." she drawled out, trying to convince herself it would work and that she didn't have to put in some actual effort and go looking for a burn cream.

"I would suggest you don't use that." Law answered for her, from behind. Alice scowled as she turned around, as he was staring at some scalpels.

"My scalpels are getting a little rusty..." he mumbled, picking up several scalpels and observing them. Alice pouted before trudging around and grabbing the first cream she saw with the word, 'burn' on it.

"Heals Heart Burn." it read.

Alice shrugged, "Close enough-" she mumbled, before she felt the cream in her hand get swapped. She looked at it closely.

"100% Natural Burn Creme." it read.

Alice pouted as she scowled at Law, "I could have found this myself." she protested, nevermind the fact she wasn't even planning on looking. Alice raised an eyebrow, "Why do you care anyway? You're so keen on killing me." she added.

Law smirked, "Even so, I'm still a doctor, and watching you is pitiful." he answered smugly, to which Alice stuck her tongue out in retaliation.

"What?! They wouldn't dare!" a man cursed loudly, causing his companions to shush him. Alice and Law casually shifted their eyes towards the man discreetly, both sharing a love for eavesdropping. Alice smirked.

_Eavesdropping equals information or blackmail. Such a beautiful thing and people dare say it's rude. _Alice smirked. _Eavesdropping never done me wrong. _

"Those damn corrupt Marines, they want to _cancel_ the Sakura Festival?" he whispered angrily. "Those bastards just care about money! Where's the justice in that? They're nothing different from pirates!" he whispered loudly, his companions nodding in agreement.

Alice sneaked over, "Indeed, the line between Marines and Pirates continue to blur..." Alice chuckled, crossing her arms as the men stiffened. Alice smirked, "But I wonder, which is more evil? The Marines, that destroy to save? The Pirates, that destroy to live? My, oh my..." Alice giggled before leaving them to their thoughts.

Alice paid for the medicine and some bandages, before strolling out, where Law's crew were hanging around. They didn't seem to notice her, more keen on chatting or in Kai and Rin's case, argue over something. Alice shrugged and took a seat under a sakura tree and tore open the plastic wrappings off her supplies with her teeth. She applied some creme to the bandages and with some difficulty, managed to wrap it around her arm and secure with a pin. She smirked, "Perfect." she acknowledged. It was messy and badly done, but it would work. _Looks almost like a fashion trend. What? Fashion is weird these days... _

Alice's eyes connected with Law's as he walked out of the pharmacist, a bag in hand. Law was smirking at her until he lost his composure and chuckled. "Is that supposed to be in style?" he mocked, nudging towards her arm.

Alice pouted, "In fact, yes it is." she replied defensively, resisting the urge to cross her arms now that it was bandaged.

Their eyes widened slightly when they heard a gunshot, and a scream. "Under the orders of Captain Ichi, you are arrested." the Marine declared, pointing the rifle at the man who Alice remembered to be the one bad mouthing the Marines in the pharmacist.

The man growled, "I'll say it again, you can't take the Sakura Festival away from us-!" he yelled. Another gun shot. No scream. The Marine raised an eyebrow and inspected his rifle before aiming it at the man again.

"You're lucky," he growled, pulling the trigger. "But it's idiot's luck." he added. He hissed when there was still no pained screams. "What the hell?! It's firing, but why do I keep missing?!" he scowled, pulling the trigger repeatedly. Still. No bullets meeting their target. "What the hell?!" the Marine cursed.

Alice blew the smoke out from her gun, after reloading it with normal bullets. She frowned boredly, "Are all Marines this stupid? Even Law's crew would figure it out faster than he would." she mused to herself. _Of course, he's not fit to use a rifle. His movements are so predictable... _

Unknown to Alice, Law was watching her every move with interest. _She's using her own bullets to deflect the bullets from that Marine's rifle. That doesn't look easy. I'll give her some credit for that, at least._ Law smirked. _I wonder if Kai could learn this... _

The man opened his eyes, mouth gaping slightly when he realized that he was indeed alive, and there was not a single bullet in him. He smirked, feeling confident again, "What's wrong? So stupid!" he taunted.

Alice's eyes lazily closed, "I don't feel like wasting any more bullets on a fool that doesn't have enough common sense to run when given a chance to live..." she sighed, placing her gun back into her bra as a gunshot echoed throughout the square.

Still, there was no scream.

Alice's eyes flickered over to the scene before an amused smile graced her lips. "I was wrong. The Surgeon of Death, protecting someone," she mused, closing her eyes and allowing the shade to shadow her eyes. "Now _that's _cliche."

* * *

><p><strong>Hey! So you see...I originally wanted this to be a really messed up no plot story just to practice my third person writing. But me, being the creative and imaginative one, can't live without adding <strong>_**some**_** plot to my stories. The next few chapters in specific are rather...insightful with a dash of humor. Or was that the next batch... I can't really remember, so just stick around and you'll see. **


	13. Chapter 13

Law smirked as he deflected the bullet with his nodachi's sheath, a solid _clang_ resounding throughout the square. The man had already fallen over his own feet and stood cowering on the ground behind Law. Children hastily ran back to their parents and guardians, some tripping while some cried. Law chuckled, his cap shadowing his eyes, "Who indeed are the evil ones..." he murmured to himself.

The Marine trembled as he held his rifle in his vice grip, "R-Release y-y-your weapon o-or...or else!" the Marine threatened. However, it didn't look too convincing as he shook from obvious fear.

Alice blew a stray piece of hair away from her eye, "I knew he was mental." she mumbled to herself, scowling at the little head at her voice. _Hypocrite. You're no better. _"Well conscious, I never said I was, did I?" Alice sassed back at herself. _You're still a hypocrite. _Alice flipped herself off, "Screw you, I know that." she muttered.

Meanwhile, Shachi and Penguin watched the mentally unstable girl with growing worry. Shachi nudged Penguin, "Should we...?" he drawled out.

Penguin shook his head, "That would be rude to a lady." he retorted.

Alice shifted her eyes to them, narrowing them coldly, "I am _not_ a lady." she muttered threateningly, causing a shiver to roll down their backs. She looked thoughtful for a moment, easing the previous tension. "Hmm, but then, what am I...?" Alice asked herself.

Penguin and Shachi sweatdropped. "Yep, mental this one." they chorused.

Alice sighed as she focused her attention back onto the square, where Law was happily cutting Marines up, like a kid playing doctor on dolls. Alice smirked knowingly. "His smile is so childish too." she laughed genuinely. _Coming from the childish one herself- _"No." Alice interrupted. _But- _"Shush."_ It's true and you- _"Go burn in Hell."

Alice perked up with an idea, and waved her hand eagerly, "Law! Is arguing with your conscious normal?!" Alice screamed, cupping her mouth so Law could hear her.

Law barely acknowledged her existence, just a brief and fleeting glance to tell Alice that yes, he did hear her, and yes, he was ignoring her on purpose.

Alice pouted as she crossed her arms, "Bored." she muttered, retrieving her gun from her bra and shooting a couple Marines. Alice smirked as they screamed in agony, blood spurting out from their wounds. Her expression dropped, "Still bored." she muttered, shooting at Law, his eyes _almost_ widening before he dodged and shot her an irritated glare. Alice simply waved her fingers daintily, before shooting off the last Marine.

"That's the last of them." Kenshin observed calmly, leaning on a tree as elegantly as one could. He sighed, "Yet, they're half dead and still so _loud_." he scowled, referring to how some of the half dead Marines would beg and plead for their pitiful lives.

Alice frowned, "The people are gawking at us." she mumbled, acknowledging the fear in their eyes. Her eyes fluttered close. _I had been like that once. _Alice sighed breezily as her eyes opened, the sun making them shine. "But I gave up on the past..." she decided, and started walking towards Law.

Law smirked as Alice strolled over, "Good to see you. Your blood would be the most beautiful." he greeted, licking his lips lustfully. Alice simply rolled her eyes at his obvious blood lust. Adorned with the blood of the Marines, a maniacal smirk and deadly nodachi, Law truly did look like a Surgeon of Death. Alice felt her fingers twitch in anticipation.

"Hn. The Marines have backup..." Law muttered, eyes shining in anticipation. Alice's eyes flickered over to where the rest of the Heart Pirates were dealing with the backup, each Heart Pirate fighting just over two Marines each.

Alice laughed, "You had your fun, now play with _me_." she mused, licking her lips and oblivious to the blood that rushed to Law's cheeks. Alice smiled pleasantly, "I'm bored," she drawled out, retrieving her other gun from her bra, "We never did have a real brawl, now did we?" she added, lips curling in delight, sticking her newly drawn gun at Law. He quickly recovered.

Law's smirk widened, "I never took you to be a sadist." he chuckled.

Alice's smile was bright enough to light up the entire town, "What can I say? You never saw me around blood." she explained teasingly, her eyes shining.

Alice charged, her guns held firmly in her grip. She grinned in glee as she spun them in her hands before shooting, the explosions causing bystanders to scream, explode or faint. Pulling the trigger was never boring for Alice. _The art of gun wielding. It should be a thing_. A bubbly laugh passed through Alice's lips in joy.

Law growled as he evaded the explosions, minor burns marking his body. _If this continues, the idiot will set the entire square- the entire _island_ on fire. I have to end this soon_. Law charged hastily, ducking to dodge an incoming bullet.

Alice saw Law charging, but she could only smirk. "Moving prey were always more fun..." she mused, aiming her guns at Law's heart. Law noticed and scowled as he started running in a zig-zag motion. It was a smart choice. Had the gunner been anyone else. She closed an eye to aim, her finger inching towards the trigger.

"Alice, stop it-!" chorused the Heart Pirates, but they were too busy to help their Captain.

Alice grinned, "Goodbye," she mumbled, pulling the trigger. The Heart Pirates could only watch in horror. The maniacal glint slowly left Alice's eyes. "Mr. Marine." she added, the bullet whizzing past Law's head. Alice's eyes widened. "...No way..." she muttered.

Alice shot an accusing look at the now shocked Heart Pirates, "Why you so shocked? Worried I'll burn your Captain-chan?" she taunted, turning her head back as they started protesting. Her eyes never left the figure. "There's no way... I missed...?" she asked quietly to herself. As far as Alice was concerned, she _never_ missed unless on purpose.

Law turned his back to Alice, finally realizing there was someone behind him. Someone not _normal. It's like he circled us into something... _

The figure slowly came into view, flaming red hair and black eyes. He had some random tuffs of hair that covered one of his eyes and the rest of it was tied into a small spiky ponytail. He wore the Marine uniform, albeit very sluggishly. He smirked, "You missed," he mused, a light blue circle circling his hand. "That must be humiliating." he chirped, adding fuel to Alice's already pissed off mood.

Alice clenched her fists tightly as her cheeks burned bright red, "Asshole, you did something, didn't you?!" she hissed.

The Marine's smirk turned coy, "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't..." he drawled out, and Alice was finding it hard not to shoot his arrogant little head off.

"A devil's fruit..." Law analyzed, to the slight shock of the Marine. Law smirked deviously, "A rather interesting one too..." he added, and Alice raised an eyebrow at his tone.

The Marine laughed, "Seems like you're the smarter one." he mumbled.

Law grinned, "I want it." he decided, eyes flashing manically.

The Marine frowned, "You can't have it." he answered.

Law chuckled, "Try me."

With a growl, the Marine lost his composure and grabbed his scimitar from his side.

Alice leaned against a sakura tree as the Marine and Law charged, each wielding their respective weapons. _A scimitar? Interesting... _A single petal fluttered down from above, as Alice held her hand out to catch it. She held it delicately in front of the sun. It turned sheer and glistened. But all she saw was blood stains.

Law swung his nodachi expertly, the blunt edge slamming into the side of the Marine's neck. The marine gasped as he crashed into his side, skidding painfully. He trembled as he tried to keep his arms up to keep from collapsing, coughing vehemently.

Law smirked deviously, "I hit a nerve ending. You're welcome." he chuckled. The Marine truly did look helpless as he flopped around. Like an insect that was recently stepped on, but still not giving up on life.

Law turned to face Shachi, Penguin and Bepo, "I can deal with this. Go back to the submarine and double check on anything we need before we leave." he ordered. The three saluted and headed off.

Alice sighed as she averted her eyes, "Law this is pathetic, just... Just end this already." Alice muttered, arms crossed over her chest. Law smirked as he observed her.

"Why, I thought you were more... _Experienced_ than this, _Miss Alice_." he drawled out.

Alice frowned, "I am, but..." she sighed tiredly again. She closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep it from trembling. _It's pitiful... _When Alice opened her eyes again, they were hardened. "This is disgusting, and it's ruining my appetite." she muttered coldly.

Law seemed satisfied with her answer as he sunk his nodachi into the Marine. Being the sadist he was, in the gut. Law only smirked sadistically in glee. Everyone could get a free show of the Marine's torture, seeing how loud he was screaming and withering.

Alice's attention never left his eyes. How they would struggle to shine, struggle to stay, struggle to _live_. Yet, Alice could only observe as the light slowly dimmed out, and his screams slowly died out.

Everything was dead silent, as Alice's eyes lingered around. Dead Marines, dead citizens, and as always, fear filled eyes. However, it seemed as if Alice was the only one paying attention when she noticed it. A twitch.

The words poured out of her mouth before she could even process her thoughts, "Law, get out of there!" she screamed, her throat scratching.

Law was no idiot. He learned that hesitating lead to death, and so on. At least, if he ran, the most damage that could happen would be a bruised ego. He sprinted off, just as a bloody scimitar was projected into the ground, on the spot he was seconds before standing on.

Alice couldn't help but gape. It was one thing for a supposedly dead body to come back alive, but that's not what matters right now. She actually _helped_ Law- no _saved_ him even. The sadist that wants to _kill_ her for hell's sake! She was left very confused as she crouched down and contemplated about life and hell.

She was still muttering nonsense and hugging herself tightly when she was yanked on by a strong grip, a sword digging into the ground where she was a few seconds ago. Even Kai's loud voice couldn't draw Alice out of her thoughts.

"You crazy _whore_. Do you want to die so badly?!" he screamed angrily. Alice slowly turned her head upwards to face him. Kai flinched when he saw the lifelessness in her eyes.

"Kai... I... Actually... Saved... The... Douche..." she forced out slowly, finding that the words almost burned her throat.

Kai raised an eyebrow, "I suppose you did. Now get off your ass and fucking use your goddamn _legs_." he scowled, removing his hand from the back of Alice's shirt.

Alice shook her head desperately as Kai's words echoed in her head. With a painful slap to her own face, she hastily got onto her feet and expertly executed a flip to evade the incoming weapons that dug into the ground with a loud screech.

The Marine still had Law's nodachi stuck to his gut, and had the situation not been so dire, Alice would have found it the slightest bit amusing. Actually, screw that. She _did_ find it amusing.

Skidding low on her feet and grabbing her guns on the way, she spun them before shooting, her eyes deadlocked on her opponent. The bullet whizzed past his head, and exploded behind him. Alice smirked, "You want a challenge on reflex? _Try me_."

* * *

><p><strong>So, this chapter might seem so much shorter than the last one, but meh. I'm going to Edmonton tomorrow! Yay :D My first road-trip! It's a five-six hour drive, so hopefully I'll live ;) If not... Then there's never going to be an update for this or IHHVV... <strong>


	14. Chapter 14

The sun was beating down harshly on the town, no forgiving clouds to be seen. Sand and debris whipped around, and it was getting harder to breathe. Alice had locked eyes with the Marine, neither moving. Once the last Marine backup had been dealt with, it was dead silent. With a flash in her eyes, Alice dropped down into a stance and pulled the trigger, the loud ripple of the bullet crackling.

Alice didn't waste a second as she skidded around, shooting from every angle her trained arms could deal with. She didn't shoot meaninglessly. She had learned from a young age it was better to hit with precision than luck.

The Marine growled as his eyes shifted around, having to twist and turn his body painfully to keep his eyes on the ridiculously agile gunner. He knew that the second he allowed her a blind spot, he would have allowed her his death note.

Alice smirked, "There." she decided, shooting at him and locking eyes with him. The Marine refused to look away out of pride and deflected it was ease, sweat dribbling down his face. He smirked.

_The little runt is stupid. Shooting right in front of me- _He stopped when he felt something dripping down his back. He looked down shuddering, two blood stained holes covered his shirt. He hesitantly looked back up, blinking rapidly until the image of Alice was whipped away by the wind. His eyes widened. _A mirage...?_

Alice shot Kai a look, "Hey! Who told you to shoot too?! Two bullets? That's an overkill!" she complained, shoving him by the chest. His response was a growl and a hard shove back. Which of course, lead into another childish banter.

The Marine hissed as blood dribbled down his lips, and drew the bullets out using his devil fruit. With a aggravated scream, he shot the bullets and unintentionally, Law's nodachi out.

Law rolled his eyes at how the two idiots had gotten into _another_ argument, before he noticed a silver of metal from the corner of his eye. Smirking, he reached out and caught it with dead accuracy, the grip falling naturally into his hand.

Law chuckled, "It's time to end this." he mused, charging through the sandstorm. It was easy to find the bastard. His pained screams were more than enough.

The Marine desperately wished to clamp his mouth shut, but the blazing heat and sand were not helping his newly found wounds. His eyes could only widen in fear when Law suddenly appeared.

"Let me end the torture for you." With a maniacal smirk, Law swung his nodachi.

The Marine growled, and with the last shred of resistance, he tried to shove the nodachi away from his neck.

Kenshin frowned as Kai accidentally scraped Kenshin's leg while he wildly thrashed about, trying to overpower Alice. The two were moving surprisingly a good distance around without the use of their legs, just the sheer will and strength to brutally strangle each other as they constantly rolled around.

Kenshin held his hand at the hilt of his katana and contemplated at how easy it would be to just kill the two idiots. He was almost brought into a dilemma before a gentle hand was placed on his shoulder.

Rin smiled charmingly, "Let them have some fun. Kai hasn't really been able to get any..._exercise_ lately, and someone equally as violent- ahem, do excuse me, I did mean to say _easily excitable_, as Alice, is good for him and his anger management. Plus, either one could have shot the other off, but they choose to do this way to demonstrate their friendship-" Rin explained.

Rin gagged as Kenshin coiled his fingers around Rin's neck, "Like this?" Kenshin asked innocently, increasing the pressure.

Rin stuttered, "I-It only w-works f-f-for them..." he forced out, his eyes slowly rolling back before he slumped into Kenshin's arms. Kenshin abruptly dropped Rin onto the ground and smirked deviously.

"Bastard. That's for eating the last of my dango." he muttered, kicking Rin's limp body before crossing his arms.

Alice's eyes lingered over the two with increasing interest before elbowing Kai in the face, forcing his head back onto the ground. "_Bitch ass whooore_." Kai groaned.

"Thanks," Alice muttered, before smirking at Kai, "Hey, hey, are Rin and Kenshin dating?" she asked happily. _I do love myself a good shipping... _

Kai blushed furiously when he processed her words, "Wha- what- how- _fuck no_." he answered hastily, angry eyes burning. "What even gave you that idea- I mean- they're _straight_." he muttered.

Alice giggled as her eyes shined, "Not for long." she sung, before continuing on her conquest to squeeze the life out of Kai's neck.

Blood splattered against Law's cheek as his nodachi cleanly cut off the Marine's neck, his head falling off with a solid thump. He smiled. _I've been waiting for a chance to get a good devil fruit... _

Ironically enough, the sandstorm started to subside, and the sun started to shine beautifully on the blood stained battleground.

Kenshin smirked as he picked the fruit out of the cart he and Rin had put together, which was overflowing with fruit. They had silently accepted the mission of scouting out every fruit attainable. He observed the green pear with blue swirls.

Rin woke up groggily as the sun started to burn his eyes, and he growled as he held his throat gingerly, which was recently strangled by Kenshin. "That bastard, I _knew _he was mad despite that goddamn poker face of his..." he scowled.

Alice and Kai were painted all over with bruises and cuts, both panting heavily as they glared at each other. However, to the safety of Rin's sanity, they broke up their brawl.

Law smirked as Kenshin handed him the devil fruit, with his usual poker face. "Thank you." Law chuckled, to which Kenshin nodded curtly.

Law frowned when he heard Alice's bubbly laugh, "That's no good Kenshin! When someone, even if it's a douche," Alice explained, muttering the last part, "Says thank you, you say, 'you're welcome'." Alice mused.

Law scoffed. _Who does she think she is, trying to teach people proper __etiquette__ when she herself- oh right, hypocrite... _

Kenshin was silent for a but until he muttered a quiet, "You're welcome..." and wandered away, leaving Law a little shocked.

_That was unusual_, Law decided. Law narrowed his eyes at his test subject, _but, so is this one_. _So, it's a dilemma between nitric acid and aqua regia? They would both most likely kill her, but I wonder which would kill her faster..._

Alice unwillingly shivered, suddenly feeling a sudden chill run down her back. "Law! Stop fantasizing about my death, you're making me cold!" Alice complained, hugging herself tightly.

Law smirked as he shrugged, "Be patient, I'm still deciding..." he mumbled.

"I would suggest hydrofluoric acid, I heard that stuff eats away at flesh until only the bones are left. It would save you the trouble of having to dispose of my dead body." Alice suggested chillingly calm. Alice gave Law a pointed glare when she saw his eyebrow raise, "_Not_ that I am going to let you do that to me." she added warningly.

Law smirked, "Thanks, but I would prefer not to waste any on you." he chuckled.

Alice smirked as she struck a pose, "Bitch, I'm worth it." she grinned, flipping her hair dramatically with an airy sigh.

Everyone sweatdropped while Law twitched, "Miss Alice, I ask you refer me to my name." he muttered.

Alice waved a finger, "Not until you drop the _Miss _out of my name."

Law smirked stiffly, "I have to do no such thing."

"Bitch ass skank ass hoe." Alice dared, crossing her arms and smirking triumphantly.

Law growled as his cap shadowed his eyes, "You're on, _Miss Alice_." he muttered, snatching the fruit from Kenshin and taking a bite from it, refusing to let the disgust show on his face.

Law closed his eyes as he felt an energy swirl and travel around his body, filling him up completely.

Alice meanwhile reloaded one of her guns with normal bullets, feeling just an _tad_ bit bad about blowing up the entire square and stuff. _I can finish him off just fine with one gun, I'll leave the other one alone. _

Law smirked as a light blue ring circled around his hand, "Room." the words came naturally, as they got enclosed in a light blue sphere. Law experimented with Alice, making her hover and throwing her around, catching her at the last minute before she hit anything. _So people can be manipulated too... _

Alice was _dizzy as hell_. She shook her head desperately in hope to clear her vision, but just as her vision cleared, she was tossed like a ragdoll again. She scowled, "Enough! Are you done playing yet?!" she screamed.

Law chuckled, "_Playing_? More like testing. Oh, and you're fighting a losing battle." he smirked, feeling rather arrogant at the moment.

Alice grinned as she swapped her bullets, even while hanging upside down in the air, "Nijū jū: Kemuri." she muttered, black smoke enveloping the field. Law smirked as he manipulated the smoke, but his smirk fell when he realized that there was too much smoke for him to control in the compact space.

Alice held onto the trigger for a few more seconds for good measure, before letting go. She coughed lightly, feeling a little lightheaded from the intake of gas. She was aware that she was falling, but with her ability to see in the pitch black, she landed, more or less, perfectly fine on the ground.

Alice ran off, breathing a sigh of relief when she finally got some fresh air. Alice charged towards the port, it was time to go.

"Not so fast." Law muttered, grabbing onto her arm.

Alice's eyes widened when she felt the grip on her arm and the barely noticeable sting of a needle. _Shit, _Alice swore. _Dammit, if I wasn't so exhausted, I could have noticed. Now I'm going to get tortured. By a sadistic doctor. Someone shoot me. _Alice felt sleepy, but adrenaline kept her awake for a bit as she kicked Law off and pulled the syringe out. Her eyelids were heavy, like fluffy duvet covers. _Mmm, duvet covers, bed, sleep... _Alice swore as her world turned upside down and she barely noticed that her eyes fluttered closed.

Law frowned. _This is what I wanted... _He thought as he stared at the knocked out body. But it was so easy. It left him feeling a little empty.

"Kenshin, carry her back to the sub." he ordered.

Kenshin nodded and picked her up, bridal style. Law was mildly weirded out by the position before he lead the others back to port. He ignored the heavy feeling in his chest and dismissed it as a side effect of eating a devil fruit.

Kai frowned. _You whore, you weren't supposed to lose so easily... _However, although Kai would never admit it, he couldn't really blame Alice. Fighting with the Marine, their own brawl and getting tossed around takes a lot of energy, and he doubt that she's eaten anything since coming onto the island. Kai sighed and shook his head, refusing to feel even an ounce of pity for the girl.

Rin frowned as Kenshin gingerly picked up the girl. Rin personally had nothing against her, and albeit the headaches she and Kai causes him, he finds her a charming companion when she was quiet and calculating. She even seemed to forgot all about that awful nickname she came up for him and Kenshin.

Kenshin was quiet as he carried her in her arms. She was surprisingly a little more heavy than he initially thought. She moved agilely, so he simply expected her to be light. She was an annoyance, and loud, but not particularly in the bad way.

Law smirked as he thought of the hundreds of toxins and poisons he kept back at his sub, and his delicate test subject. His eyes wandered over the girl as he frowned. _Okay, so not so delicate... Maybe I should take up her offer of using hydrofluoric acid... _

When Alice woke up, she found herself cuffed to a operating table by metal cuffs. Bright light shone into her eyes, making her groan lightly. She tried out the metal cuffs. _They couldn't be _too_ strong... _To her surprise, she was right, and the metal cuffs were ripped off with ease. She smirked smugly. _Thank you, stupidly useless manly strength. _She hopped off the operating table and glanced at a window that was behind her. She found it sickening that she was underwater.

She pressed her ear to the door, and sensing that it was clear, she pushed it open quietly. Alice nearly freaked out when she pushed the door off it's hinges. She rubbed her eyes. _Damn drugs must be messing with my mind, I normally have better control of my strength... _Alice stalked out, and walked down the hallway.

Alice shrugged and pushed open the first door that she saw, which was still dimly lit and by the desk, was Law's back. "Knock before you come in next time." he mumbled, eyes never leaving his papers.

Alice rolled her eyes, "Yes, Captain." she muttered, closing the door and stalking into the next bedroom, frowning when she didn't recognize the person. She headed down the hallway and opened the fifth bedroom.

Law's hand froze mid-writing a few seconds after he heard the door close. _Wait, since when did I have new female member... Do I even _have _female members with people like Shachi and Penguin around...? _Law didn't know whether to blame his sleepiness or the possibility that the brat escaped. Law shook his head. _No way the drugs would be out of her system yet, even if she didn't get the full shot. Besides, I have to finish this... _

Alice smirked when she noticed it was Kai's bedroom. She grinned, thinking of all the humiliating things she could do to him in his sleep.

"...Bi...g sis...ter..." he mumbled quietly, and Alice perked her ears. "I'll...help...you..." he added slumberingly, rolling onto his side so Alice could see his face. Alice's eyes widened. Kai looked... _Pitiful. _Alice observed as sweat covered his face and how his knuckles were white from clenching the sheets.

Alice scoffed, "Suffer, bastard." she mused quietly as she walked over and smiled as she slapped him across the face.

He woke up with alarm, his rifle equipped with lightning speed. However, Alice was faster as she slammed the muzzle of her gun into his forehead as a warning. "Be quiet." she ordered.

Kai bared his teeth at her but silently complied. For now.

Alice yawned, "Mmm, what time?" she asked sleepily.

Kai raised an eyebrow as his eyes shifted to his clock, "2am, lucky you." he muttered quietly.

Alice smirked tiredly, "Oh yay, I can throw Rin into Kenshin's bedroom and lock em in there..." she mused, enjoying Kai's increasing horror.

"You- you _slut_, don't you dare." he muttered while his eye twitched.

"Oh? Slut. Thanks. I prefer whore though, but okay." Alice chuckled.

* * *

><p><strong>Back from Edmonton! I'm so awkward in martial art class it physically pains me. Anyway, lemme know how you think of my first third-person writing story! :3 I love it, I feel like it's more professional than first person writing. Just my opinion though. <strong>


	15. Chapter 15

The room was almost pitch black, save for a small amount of light from the creak in the door, but Alice could see perfectly fine. She glanced around Kai's room. She had expected for it to be untasteful and gloomy like it's owner, but it wasn't half bad.

"Hey, how did you escape?" Kai asked quietly after a while.

Alice smirked, "I think you'll know if you think back to when we first met- god that sounds bloody friendly. Scum from the bottom of the earth, bastard from Hell, son of a banshee. Okay, me feel better now." Alice chirped while Kai rolled his eyes.

_When we first met...? Let's see... The bitch called my eyes ugly, dropped out of nowhere, and used a human as a bat... Oh right. Guess I should have told Law about her abnormal strength. _

"Your abnormal strength." he answered and Alice nodded happily. "You're such a brute." he muttered.

Alice smirked cheekily as she winked, "Thanks." she retorted.

Kai rolled his eyes again, "So, what exactly do you want? I hate to say it, but I'm at your mercy at the moment." he feigned mockingly.

Alice rolled her eyes, "Take me to the kitchen." she decided, and dragged Kai out of bed with her gun still attached to his head.

Kai sighed, "Oh of course, _the kitchen_, doom is upon us. Not the Captain's room or the Control room where _there's a fucking chance for revenge_. Of course it had to be the kitchen you slobbering wretch." he muttered sarcastically.

Alice snickered, "I'll accept wretch, but the slobbering bit was uncalled for."

"_You're_ uncalled for." Kai muttered while his eye twitched.

"Well then." Alice rolled her eyes as Kai continued to push open some doors. To Alice's amusement and Kai's disappointment, Rin was in there.

Rin turned around and smiled sheepishly when he noticed Kai, "Aha, Kai, seems like I got caught. Want anything to eat?" he offered.

Kai waved a hand, "I don't, but the whore does." he muttered.

Rin raised an eyebrow, "...Who...re? You brought a whore from shore?" he asked, chuckling quietly when he realized it rhymed.

Kai growled, "Not exactly brought, but she wants food." he muttered.

Alice poked her head through the doorway, causing Rin to quite magnificently gape and drop his cup of milk onto the ground. Luckily, it was foam and didn't make any sound or shatter.

"A-Alice...?" he asked quietly and disbelievingly.

"Yep, Kai's at my mercy, so make me food." Alice snickered while Kai rolled his eyes again.

"Wha- I- How-" Rin muttered before he held his hands up in surrender. "I give up, what do you want." he sighed. "Oh, and if Kai's at your mercy, there's something called a _hostage escape_..." he muttered.

Alice frowned, "But we're underwater." she countered. Rin stared pressingly at her. "That would be bothersome for you guys." she added like it was common sense when she sensed Rin's confusion.

Rin had to bite his lip to keep from laughing, this was _gold_. If this girl wasn't so dearly hunted by their beloved Captain, she would have made a lovely addition to the crew. Plus, she would easily be able to hold her own, so that counters the fear of perversion from Shachi and Penguin.

Rin laughed quietly, "Alright, alright, you got me, what do you want to eat." he asked.

"Erm, can you make me some hot milk with honey please? I used to drink it as a kid, but since I'm always moving," she explained, before rolling her eyes. "No thanks you to you guys," she added scoffingly, "I don't have the time to make or drink it."

Rin nodded, "Sure." he answered as he got to work.

Kai rolled his eyes again before he realized that he was still holding his rifle. Kai sighed. _This girl is the _worst _hostage keeper ever. What hostage keeper lets their hostage keep their damn weapon?! _Kai frowned as Alice talked animatedly with Rin, her attention not even acknowledging him anymore.

With lightning speed, he shifted his arm, just as Alice shoved her gun into his mouth forcibly, painfully clacking against his teeth. Alice smirked, "Don't." she ordered.

Kai grumbled irritably as Alice removed her gun, but still placed it firmly on Kai's forehead, despite the fact it was slightly covered with his slobber.

Rin shifted his eyes over the display and was impressed. It was rare for anyone to have faster reflex than Kai. But then again, this girl was anything than normal, and he was starting to doubt she was even a human, so he let it go.

Rin smirked as he finished and handed the cup to Alice, who accepted it gratefully with a smile and started drinking it with one hand.

Rin chuckled as he grabbed his broadsword from underneath the table to Alice's horror. _Damn, screw you and your godly cooking abilities, this is good. Like almost worth dying for. _Alice thought as she chugged it down.

Kai meanwhile _really _wanted to facepalm.

Rin was feeling very complimented as a cook, but found it a little ridiculous. He upheld his broadsword and brought it down into his foreswing as Alice drank the last drop and backflipped, dodging the blow at the last second.

Alice grinned, "That was delicious, thanks." she complimented, as she pulled the trigger accidentally when she was about to hold her hands together in thanks. She felt her heart drop when the explosion ruined about one third of Rin's kitchen.

It was dead silent and Alice regretted not reloading her other gun with non-explosive bullets. "Shit." she muttered before running down the hallway and hearing a manly high-pitched scream.

"Alice Lockwood, I'm going to _murder _you!" Rin screamed at the top of his lungs and Alice gave a silent apology.

Alice scrambled as she dashed up the stairs and pushed open the door that said 'Control Room'. She needed to get out of here _fast_ if she wished to see the next day. To her luck, or bad luck, Penguin and Shachi were nearly sleep deprived in there.

"Get us to the shore _now_!" Alice demanded, and they snapped awake.

"Huh- what- Alice?! What- how- why-" they stuttered.

Alice slammed her hands on a counter loudly, effectively shutting them up as she glared at them. "If you wish not to be castrated by an overaged cook that has gotten their kitchen blown up, _get our fucked up asses to shore_!" she demanded.

Shachi and Penguin both visibly paled at the mention ofan overaged cook.

Both clicking buttons desperately as Alice held the door in place as Rin banged on it repeatedly.

"Alice Lockwood, if I find you in there, I swear to kami that you will be _fucking thankful _that Law is the one that's going to be operating on you-" he threatened, before the submarine creaked loudly and suddenly headed for shore at a straight 90 degree angle.

Alice's face slammed painfully into the metal door and she winced. Red lights blared into her eyes and loud alarms hurt her sensitive ears after so much peaceful quiet. Well, until she caused Rin to lose it, that is.

Law was still working peacefully on his reports until he felt a sudden shift in moment as he heard a creak. He raised an eyebrow in question and was about to dismiss it before he fucking flew across the room and humped the wall harder than he did to any woman before, which was quite impressive.

Law groaned. _I swear, if those fucking dimwits fell asleep on the controls, I will castrate them to the next century. _

Alice's eyes were shut close from the sheer pressure, "Goddammit guys! I don't want to die from Rin castrating things that aren't even there, because I don't have a dick the last time I checked, but dying from this sucks too!" she screamed.

Penguin and Shachi were clutching onto the controls to keep from falling, "You scared the shit out of us, what did you expect us to do?! I mean, have you _seen_ Rin when he's pissed off?! What did you even do?!" they screamed.

"I blew off one third of his kitchen!" Alice screamed over the sound of the alarms.

They paled, "Please, _please_ tell us you didn't also destroy his stove. That's like his wife." they whimpered.

Alice closed her eyes and tried to remember, "No," she answered hesitantly to their relief. "But I did destroy his fridge..." she added.

They gaped, "That's his fucking kid!" they screamed.

Alice sweatdropped, "Oh shit, does that count as child abuse...?" she mumbled.

Penguin growled, "If you're talking about Rin and his cooking equipment, you'll be lucky to get away with one punch. A _hard_ punch to the _face_."

Alice cringed, "I expected as much." she replied.

Shachi tilted his head, even if it was slammed into the controls, "It's a little late now, but how did you escape?" he asked.

Alice shrugged, despite her position, "Superhuman strength." she answered casually.

Shachi and Penguin sweatdropped, "That's not safe..." they chorused. "Like letting a child play with a dangerous tool..."

Alice pouted, "Oh, so I'm a child now? I'm a childish brat, but I'm not a child. There's a difference."

They sighed, "...Childish..." they muttered.

Alice smirked, "Better." she agreed.

Alice felt slightly lightheaded from the pressure and speed, groaning as she held a hand to her head, "How much longer until we're done with this?"

Penguin shrugged, "Maybe a few more minutes." he answered.

Alice groaned louder, "I think I'm going to puke."

Shachi shivered, "We _are_ going to puke if we're forced to eat Rin's cooking. Do you know how _awful_ his cooking is when he's pissed? Knowing him, he'll probably blame it on the fact his kid is mentally scarred. For life."

Despite the situation, Alice chuckled quietly, "You guys sound like...you have a lot of...fun." she mumbled to herself.

Penguin and Shachi raised an eyebrow, "I doubt 'fun' would be the proper word to describe us." they chorused.

Shachi waved a hand, "How about mysterious, alluring and charming-"

"-want to have your babies, fuck me already, kind of feeling?" Penguin continued in sync.

Alice scoffed loudly, "The only things fucking in this submarine will be Rin and Kenshin."

The two head mechanics were silent for the longest of times as they slowly processed her words. Their mouths gaped open, "_W-what_?!"

Alice smiled coyly, "You heard me. Aren't they so cute together? Rin, with his fake gentlemanly persona-"

"It's not fake! And stop shipping us! We don't fuck!" came Rin's angered, and _very ungentlemanly voice, _Alice thought in her head.

"-to hide his true feelings for the feeling-deprived samurai, who wishes that he could say enough to express his feelings, but is actually very insecure on the inside-" Alice continued without missing a beat.

"Rin fucks a new woman every time we reach a new island." Penguin pointed out blatantly.

Alice gasped loudly, "Rin, you son of a bitch!"

"_I'm_ supposed to be the one mad at you. Let's keep it that way." came the menacing reply from the blonde cook.

Alice pouted as she swung her arms, "No, no no! You're crushing my fangirl heart!" she hissed, accidentally hitting random buttons that were near the entrance.

"Alice no-!"

Alice sweatdropped when she heard the sounds of something hitting the ceiling and ground repeatedly.

"-That's the Humpernator 2000!" they hissed.

Alice gave them a questionable look, "_Humpernator_? May I ask why?"

Shachi laughed nervously as he scratched the back of his neck, "Well, erm- there's not many female members in the crew-"

"-Or _any_ for that matter." Penguin muttered loudly. Alice raised an eyebrow when Penguin shot her a wink, "Yet."

Alice shivered, "I'm sure Shachi will do just fine."

Penguin's mouth gaped open, "We're _friends_! _Best_ friends!"

Alice gave him a suggestive smile, "That's what they all say..."

Penguin and Shachi shivered, a cold chill running up their spine. Shachi coughed awkwardly, scooting a distance away from Penguin, "As I was saying, we men were...lacking some _action_."

"Then why don't you just fuck each other like in prison-" Alice suggested boredly.

"Because that's not how it works here!" came the very aggravated reply from both Penguin and Shachi who refused to look each other in the eye.

Penguin coughed venomously, "We created the Humpernator 2000 to satisfy our needs, but our Captain didn't like the wasted space and energy-"

"Really? Seeing how grouchy he is, I would've bet he wanted it most." she mocked.

Penguin's smile was stiff, "Maybe Captain _wouldn't_ be so stiff if he didn't have to deal with you all the time-" he muttered.

Alice faked an extravagant gasp, "That would be such a _lovely_ idea. How the _fuck_ did we all not think of this." she voiced mockingly.

Shachi smiled lovingly, "It would be good if Captain could calm down, just relax sometimes. He always works so hard. A woman, or man- I'm not too picky myself, he could laugh and smile with. Someone- someone like-" he stopped talking abruptly when he saw the coy smirk on Alice's lips.

Shachi frowned, "What?"

Alice tilted her head mischievously, "Right when you said you weren't picky with gender, Penguin looked rather," she drawled out, narrowing her eyes, "_Relieved_."

Penguin stiffened under the sudden attention, "I was just shocked. Shocking." he forced out.

Alice cackled, "Rishin fangirl forever, but this isn't so bad either..."

Shachi coughed loudly, "_As_ I was saying, Captain said it was a waste of space and energy, so he told us to make a weapon out of it. And...a weapon we made out of it." he sighed.

Alice laughed, "That's _cruel_. You guys must be so sex-deprived right now, knowing how much _charm_ you guys have." she sarcastically muttered.

They both stared blankly at her, "...Was that supposed to be an in-"

"_Insult_, yes."

* * *

><p><strong>Who can guess what the two perverts wanted to say. It was originally waaay shorter, but I realized it didn't meet up to my standards of lengths, so I added a funny little bit in the end :3 ...In case you couldn't tell, my sense of humor is...<strong>_**unique**_**. **

**P.S. Sorry I was gone for a bit, I was trying to write new stories but they just never turn out how I want them to :/ **


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